Annie’s Mailbox: Take time out from each other

Dear Annie: I am a junior in high school and am fortunate enough to have a wonderful girlfriend. “Dana” and I have been together two years. I want to continue this relationship, and so does she.

We have always argued (that’s part of any relationship), but lately we have been fighting all the time. We can’t go anywhere without having some kind of an argument. It has gotten so bad that I have started to yell and hang up the phone.

Somehow we always find something to fight about. I think we just need to learn to let go of small things. We get mad at each other so easily. Please help us in any way you can. – At Each Other’s Throats

Dear At Each Other’s Throats: A healthy relationship doesn’t involve all this constant conflict. People who are compatible do not get angry over every little thing. You and Dana have been together since you were freshmen. Maybe you are picking at each other because one of you is looking for an excuse to break up. There is nothing wrong with telling Dana that you care about her, but all this fighting means both of you need a time out from one another. Try it and see if it helps.

Dear Annie: I could have written that letter from “Discarded Wife.” I, too, had been married for nearly 30 years when my husband asked for a divorce. I was shocked, hurt and angry. And yes, there was another woman involved.

However, I never completely blamed the other woman. I had to be honest and admit that our marriage had not been truly happy for some time. I did some soul searching and had therapy, and discovered that I really did not want someone who was not in love with me.

Two years later, I am a lot happier. The most positive aspect was getting a job, minimum wage and all, and finding out that I could take care of myself. Has it been hard? You betcha. But discovering how capable I am has been wonderful. It would be easy to blame the other woman for all the trouble, but my ex-husband was obviously unhappy. Tell “Discarded Wife” to seek therapy and look at this as a chance to discover a brand-new her. – Tossed Away but Doing Well

Dear Tossed Away: You certainly figured out how to make lemonade out of lemons. Kudos for turning a negative into a positive and making the best of your life.