How to throw customer a curve
A friend’s businessman father used to ask people how they planned to pay.
When they said “cash,” he would follow up by asking, “Out of state?”
“The most cinematic moment in your history of taking the dog for a walk: “The day the cougar tried to get me.” — Jeannie Maki, Colville
“Marmot-watching tips for Maja DeWolf: About 75 Slice readers offered detailed advice about where to see these little guys in action. Some drew maps. I’ll share a summary with DeWolf, so next time her rodent-fan boyfriend comes to Spokane she can steer him toward close encounters of the marmot kind.
Readers report that the cartoon-like critters are now becoming active after a long winter’s snooze.
I had originally intended to print a viewer’s guide to marmot-watching. But I’ve been reminded that real estate developers and landscapers are not their only enemies. And, at the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I don’t want the information to fall into the wrong hands.
“Life is too short to care about: Barry Bonds, Donald Trump or Joan Rivers.
“Your mileage may vary: A survey sponsored by a bra maker says 44 percent of married women daydream about a co-worker.
I wonder how often the Inland Northwest versions of these fantasies involve boats or tents. Or maybe there’s just a lot of torrid listening.
“Slice answer: “You can’t buy pastel colored toilet paper anymore anywhere,” wrote Dana Freeborn. “I remember back in the ‘60s when my mom would buy lavender TP. And in the ‘70s I bought it in lime green. And, of course, there were always the basics: pink, light blue, mint green and yellow. I wonder if anyone else misses colored TP.”
(Discuss among yourselves.)
As I understand it, skin irritation and environmental concerns led to the demise of chromatic toilet paper.
“One word you can say to a graduate (instead of “plastics”): Gerontology.
“Speaking of age issues: Robin Jones and her young son discovered a bunch of Spokane newspapers from the early 1950s. Said the boy, “Wouldn’t it be cool if we found The Slice in here?”
“Warm-up questions: How did you screw up at a church service? Are you capable of not turning honey jars or maple syrup containers into a sticky mess? How long did it take after getting back in the car for your nose to detect that you had stepped in something?
“Today’s Slice question: I realize this isn’t exactly playing ‘em one at a time. But if GU won it all, how many people would turn out for the parade?