Uncle Jimmy gives a lesson in musical lore

I have a lot of friends in the 20-something age group and many have strongly held musical opinions.

I did, too, at that age. Unfortunately, 30-plus years later, I have come to realize that half of my opinions were wrong. To cite just two obvious examples, Led Zeppelin was not a “flash-in-the-pan” and the Troggs were not the “biggest musical geniuses of all time.”

In my defense, I did contend that the Beatles would go places.

Anyway, it occurred to me that I should share my experience with young music fans, so they can avoid my mistakes. So, kids, gather ‘round Grandpa Jimmy:

1. Accept that love can be fleeting in music – In 1970, I was absolutely certain that I would follow Crosby, Stills and Nash until the end of time. They were brilliant, sensitive troubadours. As it turned out, a year later I discovered I could no longer tolerate brilliant, sensitive troubadours.

2. Accept that hate can be especially fleeting – In 1969, there was this one lousy, no-talent band I hated more than any other. Their name was Creedence Clearwater Revival. Now, I have their greatest hits on my iPod.

3. Accept that your tastes will mature, or in some cases, regress – I hated Creedence because I thought their music was primitive and simplistic. It took me 20 years to figure out that was exactly what made them good.

4. Don’t expect to discover the meaning of life in a four-minute pop song – I used to think that John Lennon or Paul Simon or Bob Dylan could change my life with shattering, metaphysical truths. Now, I realize that they were just three guys trying to come up with rhymes. There is no other explanation for Dylan’s line, “The sun’s not yellow, it’s chicken.”

5. Accept that the music you listened to as a senior in high school will always sound better to you than it does to anybody else – This is simply a proven scientific fact. The music you listen to at that age will always have special, lasting emotional significance. That explains why, in my case, I still get goose bumps when Eric Burdon inanely bellows, “Spill the wine, take that pearl.”

6. Accept that you will someday grow to love your parents’ sadly outdated music – In my case, that was Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole, both of whom now have prominent places on my iPod. In your case, you might inherit a taste for the Beatles or Simon and Garfunkel, or alarmingly, the Bee Gees or ABBA. It won’t matter, because one reason you will love this music is simply because your parents once loved it.

7. Don’t disdain a song just because it’s too popular and overplayed – I made this mistake with hundreds of songs, including, essentially, the entire Eagles catalog. All I’m saying is that you may be forced to admit someday that Coldplay’s “Clocks” actually deserved to be played every half-hour in 2003.

8. Avoid too much “oldies” radio as you age – This can lead to “Lola” syndrome, in which you someday become sick of even the best songs from your generation.

9. Keep listening to new, current music – Besides helping prevent “Lola” syndrome, this also prevents “old fogey” syndrome, in which you believe that the only music worth listening to was made 40 years ago. No year has a lock on “good music,” except of course, the year you graduated from high school. That was the most brilliant musical year of all time.