Reach for the nearest caffeinated beverage, because you’re about to watch a political vignette starring defined benefit plans, the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp., accounting rules, Congress and a guy named Bradley Belt.

Nod off at your own risk. But if you awaken with a lighter wallet or purse, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Congressional leaders are haggling over House and Senate bills that purport to reform pension accounting rules to prevent a rerun of the savings and loan crisis of the 1980s. If you’ll recall, the lack of government oversight in that debacle caused taxpayers to pick up an enormous bill.

Private defined benefit pension plans are underfunded by an estimated $450 billion. About 44 million Americans are counting on that money for retirement. Loose accounting rules have allowed the situation to deteriorate, and once again taxpayers could be at risk.

For example, United Airlines was legally able to underfund its pension plan right up to the day it filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

United’s $9.8 billion in pension liabilities was shifted to the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp., a government entity formed to ensure that pensioners would get some _ but not all _ of what they were promised. But the PBGC itself is underfunded by about $23 billion. The agency is financed by fees from corporations.

President Bush saw this looming debacle and called for tighter pension rules from Congress and more personal responsibility from businesses.

However, a congressional analysis of the two bills under consideration shows that the president’s request has been severely watered down. The PBGC says the bill would allow companies to reduce their contributions by $160 billion over the first three years.

It gets worse. PBGC director Bradley Belt resigned unexpectedly this week without giving a reason. That’s a clear sign that the key reforms have been jettisoned.

Congress would love for you to be bored to tears over this. But remember, those who stand to gain are wide awake.