Help! I think I’m marrying Bridezilla!

Wed., May 3, 2006

Diane Verhoven King Features Syndicate

DEAR DIANE: “Brenda” and I dated for five years before we both knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I proposed to her (on bended knee, of course) three months ago.

Ever since then, the kind, thoughtful woman I fell in love with has become an insufferable “witch” (I think you know the word I really mean to say). She is constantly shrieking at people involved with planning the wedding, and it’s gotten to the point where I can’t stand to be around her.

Brenda’s wedding plans are totally unrealistic. For one, she wants the ceremony to be held on a beach in Jamaica at sunset. The problem is that many of the more than 100 guests she’s inviting can’t afford to make the trip.

I won’t get into some of the other more insane details of this fiasco. Needless to say the whole shebang will cost us almost $100,000.

We don’t have that kind of money. Brenda says I should take out a loan. I told her if I am going into hock for 100 Large, it’s going to be for a new home, not a one-day event to appease her inflated sense of entitlement and vanity.

Is this sort of behavior normal with brides-to-be? I’m seriously thinking of breaking up with Brenda.

— Shocked In Shaker Heights

Dear Shocked: It sounds like you’ve got a real Bridezilla on your hands. The only thing I can suggest is that you and Brenda put your wedding plans on hold until you can work out these issues. Try setting up a meeting with a third party like your pastor or a marriage counselor. It often helps to have someone mediate these sorts of disputes.

A professional wedding planner might also be able to help the two of you create an affordable, memorable day, worthy of all Brenda’s dreams – without any of the heartache she’s causing! Destination weddings are fabulous, but sticking close to home so friends and family (and you) can afford to enjoy the celebration is even better!

Maybe a destination honeymoon is the compromise to go for here. If Brenda is too stubborn, spoiled and vain to see how unrealistic her Dream Wedding is, then you may need to ask for the ring back and move on. I hope not.

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