Honor one another regardless of relationship

“ Her attitude is outrageously healthy and irreverent. She cares for her husband at home. She inspires others.

This 80-plus lady recently formed a no-dues, no-officers, no-meeting club called KOKO: “Keep on Keeping On.”

“ On May 2, friends and relatives of 91 miners who died in the May 2, 1972, Sunshine Mine fire in North Idaho gathered to remember their loved ones. They will never forget, nor should we.

“ In the past few weeks, the long-running television show “ER” has graphically reminded us of the desperate conditions faced daily by countless refugees in the Darfur region of Sudan. No one should be forced to live like that.

“ The next month of weekends is filled with various kinds of graduation ceremonies – “goodbye” to old friends, “hello” to new ones.

These are only four brief peeks into the complicated world of relationships.

Relationships are at the root of what makes our society work. But we too easily disrespect those relationships when we forget their tangled root system.

In Matthew 13:24-30, Jesus calls the Kingdom of God a field of wheat and weeds with their roots tangled hopelessly, at least until the harvest comes. His poetic intent signaled that good and evil would remain entwined with each other until God chose to conduct a “final harvest.”

This parable challenges me to remember that good and evil co-exist in some kind of dynamic, always changing, relationship. There it is again, the “r” word – relationship.

Do you label everything “good” and “evil”? Or perhaps you simply acknowledge the twists, turns and tangles that live in any relationship.

Either way, you do well to honor that relationship, both in spite of – and because of – the tangles that can either nourish it or destroy it.

Think of relationships in your life right now. Are they a confounding mix of healthy/unhealthy, challenging/boring, energizing/draining, hope-filled/dread-filled? (Go ahead – I’ll wait for you.)

It’s so tempting to honor just those relationships that are healthy, stimulating and hopeful. But all relationships deserve to be honored.

To “relate” to someone or something (like the Earth, an organization, a people, a cause, etc.) means some kind of connection has been made. That always has the potential of being a sacred, intimate connection.

So judging that relationship always demands a kind of respectful restraint.

Sunday is Mother’s Day. While many people are filled with joy on that day, others struggle with it.

Maybe you have a broken relationship with Mom. Maybe your mother is no longer alive.

Many of our mom-relationships, past and present, are bittersweet. Whatever they may be for you, please honor both the potential and the reality of your connection to Mom. (Remember this when Father’s Day rolls around, too.)

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been very aware of relationships. Virtually everywhere I turn, everything I see pays homage to some kind of relationship.

Some entertain us. Some inflame us. Some provoke us to anger or sadness, though rarely to healthy action.

And that’s my point. By their very nature, healthy relationships require us to take some kind of healthy actions.

The complexity of any relationship suggests that the less healthy it is, the more tempting it is to take extreme action. (Think domestic violence, think war – pick your own example.)

Extreme solutions never honor everyone – dare I say anyone? – in the relationship. Test this out on any of the hot-button topics of today: immigration, abortion, homosexuality, religious fundamentalism, global warming. Name an issue for which you feel great passion.

Do you also feel helpless? Feeling helpless can so easily be a breeding ground for extreme actions, not healthy actions.

Extremism in any form is a form of war. And war is the act of utter failure of relationships between people, between people and our world, or between people and whatever we declare has ultimate worth in our lives.

As tangled as all relationships are or can become, we must honor each person, animal, plant or environment in them.

We were created to connect, to relate to whomever, to whatever.

We honor our creator and each other only when we act respectfully in that connection.