Inflammatory humor nothing to laugh at
Attention nitwits, numbskulls and the humor-impaired!
Class is in session and today Professor Doug will define the finer points of funny vs. unfunny.
Here’s our first example:
A cake covered with those trick candles that won’t blow out is a funny birthday gag.
Torching a cross in a black person’s yard is as unfunny as it gets.
Who knew something so transparently obvious would ever need explaining? But apparently there are some lobotomy candidates lurking around town who are clueless when it comes to comedy or common decency.
Not to mention class.
I give you the latest Lilac City news of the weird:
Police and fire crews were called Sunday to check out an 8-foot-tall burning cross outside an apartment, according to a story that appeared in The Spokesman-Review
Even more shocking was the discovery that this egregious act was no hate crime.
“The apartment resident, who is black, told police that his friends, who are white, did it as a birthday joke,” stated the story.
A birthday joke?
All together now:
“Oh. My. Lord.”
With friends like these, who needs a Klan rally?
So listen up, class. Professor Doug will give you a brief overview on the difference between funny and unfunny.
Funny: Kid with squirt gun.
Unfunny: Dick Cheney with shotgun.
Funny: Plastic skeleton in closet.
Unfunny: Jim West out of closet.
Funny: Rubber cheese in sandwich.
Unfunny: Human finger in Wendy’s chili.
Funny: Runaway bride quits boyfriend.
Unfunny: Britney and Kevin keep breeding.
Funny: Big Bird.
Unfunny: Bird flu.
Funny: Door-to-door religious nuts stopping at neighbor’s house.
Unfunny: Door-to-door religious nuts stopping at your house.
Funny: Sticking a buddy with the dinner tab.
Unfunny: Metropolitan Mortgage sticking it to investors.
Funny: Geiger Corrections Center’s appalling escape record.
Unfunny: Kevin Coe’s upcoming prison release.
Funny: Taylor Hicks’ manic dancing on American Idol.
Unfunny: Spokane Mayor Dennis Hession dances around ethics code.
Funny: Steve Martin.
Unfunny: Steve Eugster.
Funny: Streaker at ball game.
Unfunny: Naked Iraqi prisoners.
Funny: Paul McCartney didn’t get prenup.
Unfunny: Paul McCartney didn’t get prenup.
Funny: Three-buck lattes.
Unfunny: Three-buck gasoline.
Funny: Spokane’s Gypsy Curse.
Unfunny: Coeur d’Alene’s Hagadone Hex.
Funny: The search for Jimmy Hoffa.
Unfunny: The search for Bin Laden.
Funny: Otto, the Spokane Indians’ baseball mascot.
Unfunny: Zero, the Seattle Mariners’ World Series chances.
Funny: Portly cops with doughnuts.
Unfunny: Spokane cops with Tasers.
Thank you, class. The bell just rang and you may now be excused.
Oh, but don’t forget to take your humor homework.
Funny: Garbage-sucking goat.
Unfunny: Money-sucking Avista execs.