Kill old flame with kindness

Dear Annie: My husband, “Tony,” and I have been married for 37 years. He is a very generous and helpful guy.

Tony’s former high school sweetheart moved away before we were married. A few months ago, “Trish” called our home, and when I answered, she hung up. Another time when I answered, she said she had the wrong number. I know it was her because we have Caller ID and she had called here previously and left messages, which is why I have her number. When I asked my husband if Trish called him at work, he said, “Why?” I told him she’d called here, and he admitted that she had called him at work to ask for information about an upcoming high school reunion.

Trish received the same information about this event as everyone else. She called my husband multiple times for no real reason, also hinting that she’d like Tony to pick her up at the airport, which is 65 miles away. Trish has family here. Why can’t they get her?

Tony denies any emotional connection with Trish, saying she’s just an old friend. Recently, she called and Tony answered the phone, and they talked for 45 minutes. I was furious. I felt both of them were disrespectful to me.

I told Tony he is leaving the door open for her if he continues in this manner. Am I wrong? – Concerned Wife

Dear Concerned: You are not wrong. Trish is trying to get closer to Tony, and Tony is allowing it because it makes him feel like a teenager. Try not to let your anger get the better of you, since it will push Tony in the other direction. Instead, kill Trish with kindness. Offer to go with Tony to the airport to pick her up (he has no legitimate reason to refuse), and be sure to attend the event, looking your very best. Be unfailingly gracious to her, and remember, when it’s over, she goes back home.

Dear Annie: You recently printed a letter from “A Reader,” whose daughter bought Mom a lottery ticket that won $10,000, and is now withholding the grandchildren until Mom coughs up half.

I liked your answer but disagree with the amount to share. If I won $10,000, I’d be paying about $3,250 in taxes, leaving $6,750. If you are going to give half, give half after taxes, which would be $3,375. I enjoy your column and thought I’d make my contribution. – Jack

Dear Jack: A few readers (including the original writer) responded about the taxes, an excellent point, and, obviously, any split should be after taxes. Thanks.