Age difference doesn’t matter to this couple

“It’s a beautiful backyard,” she said. Standing on the deck with the woman who had become his mother-in-law just half an hour earlier, Gary Johnson agreed. She continued, “You’re going to be buried out there if you don’t take care of Tina.”

Gary and Tina, his bride, celebrated their silver wedding anniversary in May of this year, but it was a bit of a miracle that the couple made it past their first coffee date, let alone 25 years of marriage. When they met through a mutual friend, Tina, a 27-year-old dental hygienist with a 1-year-old son, had put her house in Dallas up for sale, had landed a job and put a down payment on a piece of property in Coeur d’Alene, had shipped many of her belongings to Idaho by parcel post, and had every intention of starting her life over in the Pacific Northwest.

Over coffee, she told Gary, “If this is just a date, I’m not changing my plans.” At that point, Gary, a 42-year-old dentist who had two daughters, knew he had to make a bold move, but the 15 years’ difference in their ages and the possibility of Tina wanting more children felt like challenging barriers. His receptionist told him to “go for it.” He laughs, “I always did everything Jean told me to … I knew what side my bread was buttered on.”

Their first real date was dinner at an Italian restaurant with Tina’s tiny son, Toby. There must have been magic because two weeks later, Gary and Tina were engaged. Tina says, “More kids were a maybe. Gary was a for sure.”

Tina took her house off the market and turned down the job offer in Coeur d’Alene. She and Gary bought a home in late April of 1981 and were married in their new house a week after moving in. Tina made the wedding cake and Gary grilled steaks for the wedding guests after the ceremony. That particular division of labor still stands. Tina does the inside cooking, and Gary the outside. Tina says, with a smile, “Consequently, I try to have meat available every night. I usually have Gary throw the vegetables on the grill as well. Right now, I’m trying to figure out how to grill lettuce!”

The age difference has never been an issue for the Johnsons. Gary says, “Men mature more slowly than women. I might be about even with Tina by now.” He continues, “Tina keeps me young and active and busy. It’s been helpful to me just trying to keep up with her.”

The couple moved to Coeur d’Alene in 1985, and in addition to volunteer work in the community and at their church, they are physically very active. Gary, a runner and a golfer, and Tina, an avid biker, work out throughout the winters on a wind trainer inside the house. They have participated in several triathlons together and now that Gary is retired from his dental career, the couple travels extensively. Most of their trips center around physical activity such as hiking, biking or walking. Tina explains with a laugh, “That’s so we can eat everything we want to.” The couple have been through Europe five times, and they’re headed to Italy and France again. They’ve bicycled through Provence, Tuscany, Bryce and Zion Canyons, Hawaii, the Gulf islands, the San Juans and Vermont. Twice a year they enjoy a major trip together, and they’ve recently begun orchestrating annual family trips with their adult children.

Gary and Tina were raised in Dallas. Gary attended a Jesuit high school, but his family didn’t have a lot of money and there was no chance for him to go to college. So he joined the Marine Corps and went through its flight school. He was a Marine pilot for six years, doing an early tour of Vietnam, “when the war there was clandestine.” After the service, he attended the University of North Texas for his predental work, and later, Baylor Dental School. He practiced 17 years in Dallas and 17 years in Coeur d’Alene after the couple relocated.

Tina attended Catholic schools, and led what she describes as a “charmed life.” She graduated from high school and earned a two-year degree in dental hygiene. In Dallas she filled in as a hygienist in Gary’s dental office, and later worked full time in his Coeur d’Alene office. After moving to Idaho, she received a bachelor’s degree from Gonzaga University. She still works one day a week with Ben Gates, the dentist who took over Gary’s practice. Asked why she continues to work, she says, “Because I’m so young! And it feels good to keep a finger in my profession.” So to speak.

Asked what makes their marriage work so well, Tina says, “Gary’s so level – and so trainable and malleable. He ignores probably three-fourths of everything I say …wouldn’t you say so, Gary?”

“Tina was certain I had a hearing problem and sent me to an audiologist a few years ago. The doc told me all I had was ‘selective hearing.’ ,” Gary said.

Tina continues, “Really, Gary is the nicest man I’ve ever met. He’s old school – gracious and mature – and he knows how to treat a woman. He’s a real gentleman.”

The Johnsons agree that there’s definitely value in being raised with Southern manners. Which includes taking all threats of one’s mother-in-law to heart.