Mom, stepdad behave badly
Dear Annie: My husband and I are at our wits’ end regarding my mother and stepdad. They have recently moved into our neighborhood, just one street behind our home, and are driving our friends and neighbors nuts.
My stepdad, “Jim,” is very outgoing, but he butts into everyone’s life. He couldn’t care less whether his comments are welcome. Mom is rather scatterbrained and says nonsensical things from time to time, usually in a drunken state. By the way, they both are in their late 50s and drink to excess. They also are very self-centered, brag about what they own, where they have traveled and how they know everything. Everyone is tired of hearing it over and over, and we’ve told them so, to no avail.
Our friends could tolerate Mom and Jim when they came to occasional parties and barbecues (usually uninvited), but now no one can escape because they live so close. The two of them were practically driven out of the retirement community they previously lived in. All their neighbors hated them and made no bones about it.
My older sister lives 60 miles away and just laughs about it. She rarely visits. My husband and I are considering moving closer to my father and stepmom, despite the distance. Dad and his wife have always been there for us. Still, I am a little ashamed to feel this way about my mother. Please help. – Fences Are Not Enough
Dear Fences: Moving away might not help if Mom is determined to live near you, and you shouldn’t have to dig up stakes every time she gets too close. You are not responsible for Mom’s unpleasant behavior, and her drinking is undoubtedly a huge factor. Do as much socializing as possible where she can’t follow you, and let the rest of the chips fall wherever. Also contact Al-Anon (al-anon-alateen.org) at (888) 4AL-ANON (888-425-2666) for support and suggestions.
Dear Annie: My husband has become a news junkie. All he does is watch the news and, at any given moment, has a yelling match with the commentators or the people they are interviewing. He is extremely angry all the time.
My kids don’t want to talk to their father any longer because he barks at them and can’t carry on a decent conversation. Any other suggestions? – Lu
Dear Lu: Politics has a lot of folks upset these days, but reasonable people do not make it the sole focus of their lives. Your husband has gone over the edge. When you have a quiet moment and the TV is off, talk to him calmly about it. If he cannot put his rants aside, it may be time for him to seek professional help. Sometimes such outward-focused anger is a way to avoid dealing with other, more personal, issues.