He lied about strip club visit

Dear Annie: My husband is a groomsman for one of his very close friends. The bachelor party is supposed to be a three-day event in another state and will include at least one visit to a strip club.

I don’t approve of the strip club part, especially because at the last out-of- town bachelor party, my husband said he stayed in the hotel room and skipped the strip club. Two months later, I found out he’d gone with his friends but chose not to tell me. He said he didn’t want to upset me.

I still feel betrayed about that and don’t want him going on another such adventure. Should I put my foot down, or should I say nothing and have it bother me for who knows how long? – Confused

Dear Confused: While we are not fond of married men in strip clubs, we also know that most such events are harmless. In the majority of strip clubs, the dancers are not permitted to be touched by the customers, nor are they looking to have affairs. However, three-day, out-of-state bachelor parties, with strip clubs and liquor, can lead to serious trouble and push trust to the limit – with harsh consequences. Most men do not want to miss out on events that include their closest friends, and wives who get in the way are often resented. But men who respect their partners will behave in a trustworthy fashion, watching their alcohol intake and calling home regularly, and will value their relationships enough not to do anything they will later regret.

Dear Annie: My 69-year-old mother constantly comments that she is really looking forward to the 50th anniversary party her children are going to throw for her. Annie, we don’t think it’s appropriate to throw a party, because Dad died eight years ago. Mom actually wants a big gala with family and friends. What is your opinion? – Oldest Daughter

Dear Daughter: It is a bit strange to have an anniversary party when one spouse is deceased, but assuming your mother is perfectly lucid and simply wants to celebrate what would have been 50 years together, there’s no harm in indulging her, as long as the event doesn’t become tasteless schlock. Consider a small party of close friends and family, and perhaps include a tribute to your father.

Dear Readers: We are carrying on the tradition that April 2 be set aside as Reconciliation Day, a time to make the first move toward mending broken relationships. It also would be the day on which we agree to accept the olive branch extended by a former friend or estranged family member, and do our best to start over.