Wife prefers mom’s company

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for three years but haven’t been living together for a few months. We don’t want a divorce. We just reached a point where we fought too much and needed some space. We have two kids.

The problem is my wife is too close to her mother. When we lived together, her mother called the house at least 20 times a day, sometimes to ask if we were feeding the kids and taking care of them. No joke. She also would stop by the house unannounced almost every day.

My mother-in-law has a husband, so it’s not like she’s all alone. I know she loves her daughter and grandkids, but she never lets them breathe. She is also very nosy and never gave us any privacy. This frustrated me to no end.

My wife currently spends so much time with her mother that it interferes with us working on our problems. On my days off, my wife chooses to spend the time with her mother instead of doing something together as a family.

I’ve told my wife I should take priority, but she thinks I want her to give up her mother altogether, which is not true. How can a marriage work if one spouse has to share the other one? – Extremely Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: Your wife needs to understand that her husband and children outrank Mom, and she isn’t hearing that message when it comes from you. This is why marriage counselors are so valuable. They are impartial and can deal with issues that spouses can only argue over. Make an appointment today and ask your wife to come with you. If she won’t, go by yourself and see what you can do on your own.

Dear Annie: I’m 29 years old and getting married soon. All my friends are into tattoos and multiple piercings. I have remained ink free, with only two earrings.

I dearly love my friends, but their artwork and piercings are getting a bit scary, and they just keep adding more. I’d like my wedding day to be normal and have the pictures reflect that. I don’t want my friends showing up with their tongue studs and belly rings hanging out, or their arms showing every snake, dragon and fairy. – No Ink for This Bride

Dear Bride: If any of these friends are attendants, you can tell them what to wear. Otherwise, clothing is dictated by the formality of the event – for example, “black tie optional” requires the men to wear suits at the very least. Beyond that, you don’t get to tell your guests how to dress, even if that means six rings in their lips and snakes curling down their bare arms. Try to remember these are your friends. Someday, you’ll look back on those pictures and smile. Promise.