Victims rights expert offers tips for handling suspected abuse
An advocate for survivors and recent victims of abuse urged people to educate children about the problem of child abuse and neglect.
“The information given to children is all important, but so is the manner in which the information is given,” said Marcia Black-Gallucci, a legal advocate and crisis intervention specialist with the Victim Rights Response Team of Lutheran Community Services. “We need to strike a balance between safety and terrifying the child.”
Below is an edited transcript of the chat. To read more, go to spokesmanreview/ourkids/chats.
Q: Kids frequently get bumps and bruises in the course of a healthy life. How does a person differentiate between physical abuse and accidents?
Black-Gallucci: Sometimes, that can be tricky. It is normal for kids to have a scraped knee or a bumped elbow. But if it’s obvious that the child has injuries over a long period of time, or perhaps has tried to cover them up, and when asked says the same thing over and over – “I fell down the stairs. I bumped myself” – those could be causes for concerns. If someone has an injury of some sort and it’s a completely believable story and it happens only once or twice, the internal bells and whistles don’t go off.
Q: What if I don’t see physical injuries to the child but I suspect they are being neglected? What are the signs of neglect?
Black-Gallucci: Neglect is perhaps the biggest piece of maltreatment in children. Neglect can show itself with children who are not given food, or come to school very tired because they haven’t slept, or have consistently dirty or unkempt clothing. In general, showing lack of an adult’s care and supervision in their lives. If this or other behaviors of the child are consistent over a period of time, you may be seeing abuse by neglect.
Q: Parents can be defensive about the care of their children. If I suspect maltreatment, should I try to intervene with the family myself?
Black-Gallucci: Once again, think it through before you take a step. We don’t want to cause further harm to the child, and we want to make the situation better, not worse.
If the parents are people you know or family members who might respond to a suggestion, then maybe that’s the best way to resolve that situation. However, few people will say thank you for bringing this to their attention. A report to the proper agency may be the best way to keep the child safe.
Remember that no one is at risk legally for a report to CPS if it is made in good faith.
If you see abuse in public, a few suggestions:
“ Strike up a conversation with the adult to take the attention away from the child.
“ Tell the parent the child has beautiful eyes, for example, to get the parent in a positive mood.
“ You can say, “She seems to be trying your patience. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“ Divert the child’s attention by talking to the child.
“ You can also praise the child and the parent.
“ If the child appears to be in danger, offer assistance.
“ Avoid negative remarks because these reactions may increase the parents’ anger and make matters worse.
Q: What kind of future do survivors of abuse face?
Black-Gallucci: With intervention and good advocacy, survivors can lead a healthy and good life. That’s why we encourage survivors to call the crisis line for information and advocacy.
If you are a survivor or recent victim of any crime and want help, call the crisis line at (509) 624-7273. The Victim Rights Response Team will provide a trained advocate to talk with you.
Each person’s experience will be different. Some victims will have minimal damage, and others could sustain lifelong trauma. To know that there is a safe, confidential place to go should be of comfort.
Many adults and children are living well in the world after having sustained abuse.