Annie’s Mailbox: Mom too tired to control kids

Dear Annie: I am a single mother of two girls, ages 4 and 2. Their father isn’t in the picture much. I love my kids, but sometimes I think I never should have had children.

A while ago, I put my 4-year-old into group counseling because she was very aggressive with her little sister and argued with me about everything – what to wear, when to go to bed, etc. She hasn’t improved much, and it is making me crazy. Rewards and discipline don’t work.

I am on an antidepressant and take a sleeping pill. My children sleep in bed with me every night, just so I don’t have to battle with them, which means I have to go to bed when they do, leaving no time for myself. They wear me down until I cry myself to sleep.

The sleeping arrangements are also causing problems with my boyfriend. Please help. I don’t know what to do. – Indiana

Dear Indiana: A certain amount of aggressive behavior toward younger siblings is common, and a consistent, disciplined approach will eventually get results. However, you are too exhausted and overwhelmed to do this, and as a result, you are no longer in control. Not only does this make every day a struggle for you, but it creates insecurity in your children, who, in turn, become more clingy and demanding.

Children need structure and stability. Call your local YWCA, church or community center, and ask if they offer parenting classes. Try to get Dad more involved. Please find time for this – for your children and for yourself.

Dear Annie: I chuckled when I read the letter from “Burnt Out.” His list of chores sure sounded like the daily doings of most women.

As long as he is sharing this working, commuting, doing endless chores, taking care of pets, garbage, laundry, dishes, cars, paying bills, etc., with his wife, and they still remember to say “I love you” to each other, they will survive. Children grow up, and they cannot get back that childhood time. Instead, they need to rechannel their family focus. Take some time to play with the children and one another every week. Make a game of the weekly chores, which everyone in the house should share. They will be making family memories. Hang in there. – Been There, Done That

Dear Been There: We couldn’t have said it better. Thanks.