Girls’ consoling may not be all good, study shows

Girls who confide their problems to their friends do themselves a favor and benefit psychologically, right? Not necessarily.

A study published recently in the journal Developmental Psychology finds that excessive discussion of their problems might harm preteen and teen girls more than it helps them. Researchers even coined a term to describe the phenomenon: co-rumination. Adolescent girls who co-ruminate, or dwell on their problems by rehashing and analyzing them with their friends, tended to show more signs of depression and anxiety than others, the study found.

“Talking about their problems too much keeps those problems in close focus – makes them feel bigger and harder to solve,” said Amanda J. Rose, lead author of the study and an associate professor of psychology at the University of Missouri at Columbia. “It also may keep them from engaging in more-pleasant activities that might take their mind off their problems.”

Boys who aired problems with peers did not appear to have similarly elevated levels of depression and anxiety. Rose said this was likely because boys tend to externalize issues and “were more likely to blame someone else for their problems.”

Researchers surveyed more than 800 students in the third, fifth, seventh and ninth grades, asking them about their problem-sharing, any depression and anxiety they experienced, and the quality of friendships they maintained. Though dwelling on their worries seemed to make adolescent girls more depressed, it also had one positive result: It made friendships closer and stronger. Boys who shared problems also had closer friendships than boys who did not, the researchers found.