Annie’s Mailbox: Husband being suspicious

Dear Annie: I have been married 32 years to the same wonderful man whom I love very much. We have kids and grandkids and are moderately well off.

A few months ago, I walked into our home office, and my husband was reading an e-mail. As soon as he saw me, he closed the computer. A few minutes later, I had to walk into his office again, and the same thing happened. When I confronted him, he said the e-mail was from “Sally,” his secretary from his previous job (which he left five years ago). He assured me it was nothing.

Sally lives 700 miles away and has never married, although she has a 20-year-old son. She bought my husband an expensive birthday gift and had it sent to his office, which he failed to mention until I saw it. A few nights ago, I ran across some e-mails that Sally sent. She called my husband “Sweetie” and said she missed him. She also told him she was going on vacation not far from us and might visit. When I asked my husband if he ever contacted Sally, he said yes, but it was a long time ago, about problems from his previous job. But the next day, I found e-mails he had recently sent her. One said he was heading out of town on business soon and it might be a good time to talk.

This whole ordeal has really shaken my marital foundation, and I am a wreck. My husband asked if I wanted him to stop communicating with her, and although the answer is yes, how can I ever be sure it’s the truth? I feel like a fool, and he’s giving me the runaround. What should I do? – Emotionally Stressed

Dear Stressed: Closing the computer when you walk into the room is a sure sign your husband is hiding something. We don’t know how serious a relationship this is (or was), but you are entitled to find out. Insist that your husband come with you for marriage counseling. Your doctor or clergyperson can refer you to someone.

Dear Annie: Several weeks ago, my friend, “Jessica,” asked my sister and me out to lunch. Jessica said she would pay. We all understood that she was treating us.

After the bill was put on the table, my sister picked it up and paid it. Later (at home), my sister told me I owed her half. I say I do not.

I think my sister should have let Jessica pay it, since she issued the invitation and offered to pay. What do you say? – Virginia

Dear Virginia: Jessica should have picked up the tab. If your sister decided to treat everyone, fine, but she should not be billing you after the fact. However, if you want to avoid a sibling fight, you can offer to give her the cost of your meal.