Teen worries unnecessarily

Dear Annie: I am an almost-13-year-old boy who lives in an average-sized suburban home. My mom is a kindergarten teacher. There is only one problem – my dad. He quit his job in search of another about six years ago. He found more work, but then shattered his leg in a car accident. He got a lot of insurance money, which he has been using to pay off bills. He has almost run out of money and is too depressed to get a new job. (Depression runs in his family.)

I am scared of what might happen to this family if he doesn’t get work soon. I am on anti-depressants, but they don’t help much. I have spent the past couple of years knowing this would happen, and it finally has. – Scared

Dear Scared: We understand why you are afraid, but your family situation should not be on your shoulders. Talk to your parents and explain how stressed you are. Also, since you are on anti-depressants, ask Mom or Dad to make an appointment for you to speak to your therapist. You also should talk to a grandparent, aunt, uncle or family friend who understands your situation and can help reassure you.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “The Cash Giver,” who asked ministers why they need to know the amount of a person’s giving. Here are some possible reasons:

1. With a declining congregation, one might need to look at the giving of regular attendees in order to set or readjust a budget. The church is unique in that it has to follow a budget that is constantly changing and based on random and regular giving.

2. Giving can determine what must be taught from the pulpit or elsewhere. If those who are regular parishioners are not giving, then it needs to be addressed. If they are regularly giving, but overall giving is just low (since a tithe is based on one’s income), then other issues must be looked at.

3. For purposes of leadership, one might need to hold accountable their giving to the biblical standard. Leadership must lead by example.

Finally, the real issue here is trust. This minister has been given the task of leading your church, and you need to trust that he is doing his best. If you have questions, go to him and ask. Don’t make decisions regarding your church attendance based on the replies of others in a newspaper. I hope you and your church continue to grow through this time. – Pastor John

Dear Pastor John: Most of our readers are not in favor of their minister knowing what they are giving, but you have made some interesting points for the other side. Thanks for writing.