Wet child left behind

If you’re the parent of an almost-preschooler, you might be hearing a ticking sound right about now.

It’s not the drone of one of your kid’s toys; it’s the clock ticking down to the potty-training deadline.

Most, but not all, preschools require their young students to be out of diapers by the first day of class. Trouble is, some 3-year-olds have their own timetables and don’t really care about those rules.

“They need to be pretty well-trained for this preschool,” says Meredith Lombardi, who runs Spokane Montessori.

At that school, which stresses independence, kids who have an accident are taught to clean up after themselves, to take off their wet clothes and wipe themselves off.

Son-Shine Preschool at Holy Cross Lutheran Church in Spokane also requires kids be out of diapers, preschool teacher Kay Albrecht says.

“We do expect accidents now and again but we don’t expect an accident daily,” Albrecht says.

Kristen Harle of Spokane knows what it’s like to feel the need to press the potty-training issue. Her son, Andrew, turned 3 in June. Last summer, though, he suffered a potentially fatal, antibiotic-resistant staph infection.

Doctors urged Andrew’s parents to get him potty trained, to avoid the bacteria build-up of diapers.

“I pushed and pushed and pushed,” Kristen Harle says. “So, the more I pushed, the worse it was getting.”

Then, she picked out “some really cool underwear” for Andrew. She set the timer to go off at appointed potty times. And she gave small rewards for successes.

Finally, it all clicked. And now Andrew, who is in preschool, is potty trained.

Lombardi has been though the potty-training trenches, too. She’s the mother of a 3-year-old girl and 4-year-old boy.

“Both kids were trained by 2 and two months,” she says.

From birth, she always changed the babies’ diapers in the bathroom. When they were just past a year old, she had them sit on the potty after every diaper change.

“We never had to deal with any fear,” Lombardi says. “With my kids, they never knew another way.”

Lombardi says she also set up a “treat basket” near the potty. A child could choose a treat, such as a rubber ball, after every success on the potty.

“You find a way to make it fun and encouraging,” she says.

But if preschool is looming and your child still isn’t out of diapers, don’t worry too much.

“Most experts say that’s the one thing the kid can control,” says Spokane author and family therapist Michael Gurian. “If the child is just wailing and it’s creating family stress … parents have to look carefully if the child is ready for that preschool.”

Plenty of schools will accept kids who are still working on potty training.

“In their time, they’ll get it,” says Jan Swanson, director of North Wall Schools in Spokane. “I hate for parents to feel that pressure, too. They all get potty trained eventually.”

Swanson makes sure preschoolers at her school have an extra set of clothes. And children are given gentle reminders throughout the day to visit the bathroom.

Plus, positive peer pressure usually helps those stragglers, even those who struggle with toilet training at home, she says.

“They’re just watching their friends go to the bathroom,” she says. “It’s just natural they want to go to the potty.”