Psyche and the city

So this medium-sized Northwest city walks into a psychiatrist’s office and …

Wait. That sounds like a joke.

But what if it wasn’t? What if counselors and therapists imagined Spokane as a patient/client and put the city on the couch, so to speak? What themes would they want to tackle in sessions?

OK, let’s get something straight right away. This isn’t Spokane-bashing. This is about encouraging a loved one to seek help.

Maybe you are in denial and think the Lilac City is perfect. But almost everyone else who listens to our public discourse and drives a car would admit that Spokane has issues.

In fact, it’s not uncommon for civic self-analysis here to echo Sydney Pollack’s character, an actor’s agent, in the time-honored movie “Tootsie”:

“I begged you to get some therapy.”

Let’s start.

Victor Paulson, who lists “relational struggles” among his treatment specialties, would want Spokane to ask itself if it mirrors any of the self-destructive tendencies of dysfunctional families.

If the answer is “yes,” the next step would be to identify what it would take to effect positive changes.

That’s not as easy as it sounds, said Paulson. Patients looking to counseling for a quick fix often fail to grasp that transforming problem behaviors or attitudes can take time.

The same, presumably, would be true of a city looking for a fresh start or improved outlook.

Dr. Mark Chalem, a Spokane psychiatrist, knows right where he would start.

“I would envision tackling several issues,” he wrote in an e-mail. “First would be what I feel is an insecure sense of identity and self-esteem.”

He suspects Spokane suffers from a dynamic akin to “middle child syndrome.”

“We don’t have the easy, secure confidence and self-esteem that an older, bigger sibling like Seattle might have,” Chalem says, “but also don’t have the promise of the young hopeful and can’t count on getting the special attention and tolerance for mistakes while growing that a smaller sibling like Coeur d’Alene, Wenatchee or Bellingham might have.”

There’s more.

“Second would be a fear of change and growth – growing up, if you would – that often goes with an insecure identity,” writes Chalem.

If you’re thinking, “Hey, I could have told you that,” better fasten your seat belt.

“The third factor, which we share with pretty much any other community, would be a lack of communications between, integration of, and mutual support between our various ego states – that is, parts of ourself with different inclinations and values.”

In other words, Spokane probably ought to be seeing Dr. Chalem twice a week.

All right, a city isn’t just like a person.

Still, isn’t it true that a community can seem to project a clear personality and exhibit observable traits?

You know, smug one minute, defensive the next?

Just imagine Spokane having a session with that old Bob Newhart sitcom character, psychologist Robert Hartley.

Hartley: “Well, Spokane, you’ve had sort of an up-and-down summer. H-h-how does that make you feel?”

Spokane: “Good. And bad. A little of both.”

Counselor Burlin Conner would urge the city to see itself for what it is. Which is to say, constantly patting ourselves on the back might not move us closer to addressing real problems.

He recommends a dose of telling it like it is. “Spokane is neither a nice nor a friendly town,” said Conner.

Hey, he’s not a downer, just frank. One of Conner’s pastimes is performing as a clown.

He wondered if, in Spokane’s case, group therapy might be the way to go.

Hmmmm.

Portland: “Could someone bring me a blanky? I’m feeling vulnerable and stressed.”

Spokane: “Hey, Porty, I got your stress right here, pal.”

Seattle: “That’s offensive to me. Are we going to tolerate that?”

Spokane: “Look, Rain Boy, I thought tolerance is what you are all about.”

There are, of course, many ways to embark on explorations of the psyche. There’s dream analysis. There is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. There’s probing the unconscious, operant conditioning, and on and on.

But what would be the appropriate approach to helping a city sort through its collective hang-ups and insecurities?

Shock therapy? Hypnosis? Medical marijuana?

Sandra Turtle, a counselor in Coeur d’Alene, expanded her field of vision.

She imagined seeing the entire Inland Northwest as a patient. And she identified two themes for discussion: narcissistic behavior and borderline behavior.

In the case of the former, the Inland Northwest would have to be taught to see others’ points of view, she said.

That could challenge well-entrenched, “this is how we’ve always done it” tendencies.

Turtle said dealing with borderline behavior would involve helping the region achieve greater self-responsibility: “In a broad sense, be able to validate others but also maintain one’s own validity.”

Sounds good.

Spokane therapist Kari Wagler’s practice focuses on depression, anxiety, self-esteem, marriage, divorce, childhood abuse and dysfunctional family issues. She has written a book, “Choosing Light-Heartedness.”

Can you think of any occasionally heavy-hearted cities between Minneapolis and Seattle that might benefit from a few sessions with her?

The thing is, Wagler recognizes what we all know to be true – that a city is defined by its residents. And if you really want to help Spokane, there’s no better place to start than by assisting the people who live here.

“The best advice I could give is to have the people of Spokane communicate better with each other,” she said in an e-mail. “I’d want to help them learn to use ‘I messages’ and talk about their personal feelings, experiences and needs.

“I’d teach them how to really listen and show compassion for each other. When they learned to do that, then we could begin to brainstorm possible win/win solutions to the problems rather than just complaining about them.”

Call me crazy. But I think we’re on the verge of a breakthrough here.