Smart bombs: Caught looking

You have to wonder what clubhouses will be like this spring in the wake of the Mitchell Report naming Major League Baseball players suspected of using steroids and human growth hormones. You’ll have the honest guys who have been relegated to the bench in favor of cheaters. Guys who were cut in favor of cheaters. Guys who start cheating to beat out cheaters.

Just about every decision the players union has made in this scandal has been to the benefit of cheaters and to the detriment of honest players and fans who want a clean sport. But what if fans took control by turning their backs? What if they said something like:

“Get lost! We’re tired of being burned by phony heroes and their jacked-up records. We put up with player strikes and canceled seasons, but enough is enough. Player privacy? You can have all the privacy you want in an empty ballpark.”

My guess is that all of the “intractable” hurdles to real solutions would suddenly vanish. But let’s face it, the fans are as hooked as the players.

Don’t ask. Don’t tell. You’d think the Pentagon would want to make it easy to report on the accomplishments of soldiers who have been decorated for valor. You’d be wrong. The following is from a Baltimore Sun article regarding its quest to publish the narratives that accompany recommendations for military medals:

“The Army denied a March 2006 Freedom of Information Act request for the narratives, first on the grounds that it couldn’t find all of them. Next, Army lawyers argued that releasing the narratives ‘could subject the soldier and family to increased personal risk.’ But the Army and the Defense Department already publicize the names, photos and hometowns of medal recipients. The lawyers also argued that disclosure would discourage officers in the future from writing detailed battle accounts.”

This example of crimped bureacratic thinking is something to think about the next time somebody complains about the lack of good news out of Iraq.

Convenience store. An architect working for Home Depot noted in a recent news article that putting a warehouse store near Regal Street and Old Palouse Highway in South Spokane would be a convenience to shoppers.

Such thoughtfulness is awfully sweet, but as a resident in the area, I can pretty much find what I need at the hardware stores already in the area. And when I need a forklift load of something, I don’t mind driving down to the Sprague Avenue location, which is nicely situated away from homes and right next to railroad tracks.

That’s a nice convenience for the store, because it doesn’t need an armada of semis negotiating skinny streets to stock it. It doesn’t need to incur the wrath of drivers stuck in neighborhood traffic.

So, really, it’s OK if Home Depot stops thinking of me.

Still, it was a lovely thought.