Home Planet: I’ve been corrupted by Dirty Santa

Over the years I’ve been to parties where we played the “Dirty Santa” game. The game is a gift exchange that lets you take an object right out of someone’s hands and leave them to choose another. Of course, the next person can take the gift away from you.

I’ve been there when the game was fun, and I’ve seen it turn ugly. Trust me, when the gloves come off at the book club Christmas party, things get interesting.

I’ve got my own version of Dirty Santa. I play it late at night when I’m sitting in front of my computer screen.

It starts innocently enough. I go online looking for gifts for the people on my list. Usually one of my children.

I look around for the best price, the best shipping deal or the best incentive. But that’s where I get into trouble. The merchants know their target. So they don’t just have one or two good deals. This time of year, when tired women (and I’m pretty sure it’s mostly women. Some traditions never change.) are up late making Christmas dreams come true after putting in a full day, possibly with a glass of wine in hand, we’re sitting ducks.

It’s hard to resist a good thing.

Now, with a week to go until Christmas, the children’s stockings are only half full but I’ve already got a nice new coat, a new duvet for the bed and a set of noise-cancelling headphones. (If I drew you a map of the newsroom, listing who sits where, you’d understand this last purchase.)

I don’t quite know how that happened. I was looking for mp3 players, board games and trendy clothes.

Now, unfortunately, although I’ve made a noticeable dent in the budget, I’ve only barely scratched the Christmas list.

And my kids want to know what I’d like to find under the tree. I should hide my face in shame.

“You don’t have to get me anything,” I tell them in my best martyred mother voice. “I’ve already got everything I need.” I don’t exactly say it, but my tone indicates that that all I need is them. I certainly don’t need a new coat, a new duvet or noise-cancelling headphones. Well, not anymore.

So, no more online shopping for me. I’m going to do it the old fashioned way. I’ll get in the car, walk the mall and stick to the list. I won’t forget the proverb that it is better to give than receive.

Of course, I could rationalize my selfish spending by saying I was giving when I made those impulse purchases. I was giving myself a little gift. I could put it that way, but I won’t.

That would be playing dirty.