Annie’s Mailbox: Friends miffed over windows

Dear Annie: I need an outside opinion. I was in the process of repairing the windows on my garage, only to discover that they do not make this type of window anymore. My neighbors of 15 years, who I’d thought were our friends, recently replaced their garage windows with glass block ones. Since my original windows were not available, I decided to go with glass block windows, also.

I called my neighbor and told her that she had good taste, and we were going to get similar windows. She was furious and berated me like you wouldn’t believe. I thought she was joking when she said if we put in glass block windows, she would never speak to me or my wife again and the friendship would be over.

We installed glass block windows anyway, and the neighbors are not talking to us. Our windows look totally different than theirs. Ours have black bars in front and are partially covered by bushes. Also, our two houses are not alike in size, shape, color or landscaping. In addition, after touring the neighborhood, we see that there are eight other houses in the immediate area with glass block windows.

I don’t understand the big deal. I wrote them a letter and apologized, saying imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but nothing.

I really hate to end this friendship over something so trivial. Any advice? – Perplexed

Dear Perplexed: Is there a mutual friend who might be willing to act as an intermediary? It would help to have someone speak to the neighbors, explaining that you meant no disrespect, that the windows look entirely different on your house, and that you’d like to patch things up. If the neighbors still value their windows over their neighbors, it wasn’t much of a friendship to begin with.

Dear Annie: I have been married to my husband for 15 years. His 50th birthday is coming up, and we’ve been planning a special party for over a year. His two children will not be attending. Why? Their mother bought them tickets for an event out of town. My husband is very hurt, but he will never say anything to them.

Annie, these children lived with us until they were 18. Their mother was the one who left the marriage. What can we do? – The Stepmother

Dear Stepmother: Grown or not, these children still hurt from their mother’s abandonment and crave her love. They fear if they refuse her conniving gestures, she will desert them again. The best thing you can do for your husband is to love his children anyway and allow him to decide how he wants to handle them. It will not help your marriage if you persuade him to cut them off. He will only blame you later for causing an estrangement.