Armed with answers

Not only do kids say the darnedest things, they ask the darnedest questions. They usually ask them of adults – the people they often look to as role models.

They want to know: “Why am I here?” “How did I get here?” “Why is the sky blue?” “Who is God?”

“Children, as they age, become extremely curious about our world,” says Dana Baldwin, assistant professor of Child and Family Studies at Freed-Hardeman University in Henderson, Tenn.

“They want to know how things work and the nature of relationships. Parents who squelch this curiosity teach the child to quit asking questions,” he says.

When children learn their parents are not interested in what they think, “children learn to isolate their thoughts and thus turn inward rather than outward,” Baldwin explains.

This results in a lack of communication and a self-centered point of view, he says. The child may think: “No one understands. I will have to take care of myself.”

Victor James Owner would agree. The Disney World performer is the author of a new children’s book, “Why Am I?!” (Synergy Books, 2006, $14.95).

He thinks that no matter how overwhelming the questioning can be, how adults react can mean the difference between a successful, confident child and one with serious self-esteem problems.

“If children learn not to ask questions, they become isolated and frustrated, which has a negative effect on self-esteem,” Owner says.

“Adults should take the time to respond to even the smallest question whether they know it or not. It could mean the world to a child.”

Velma Wilson recalls how she handled her children’s questions.

“Basically, I made an attempt to answer on their level,” says the Jackson, Tenn., mother of a daughter and a son.

“When they were younger, they would ask me, ‘How do you know if I am going to heaven?’ “

She pointed them to the Bible and talked about the things they learned in Sunday school.

“On their level, I told them to be good, to do good to others and to follow God’s law,” Wilson says.

“I think it is important for parents to take the time to listen to their questions. Time is the best investment. It’s not all the material things you buy them.

“Be genuinely interested in what your children have to say, and give them the best answer possible.”

Summing up, Baldwin says parents who encourage children’s innate curiosity find ways to help in their safe interaction with things around them.

“As children interact safely with their world, they develop confidence about their place and purpose in this world.”