Odoriferous girl unaware of effect

Dear Annie: My youngest child is 13 and the only one left at home. We live in the country, and our only neighbor has a daughter, “Beth,” the same age. The girls ride the bus together and hang out after school and on weekends.

Beth is not very clean and has a terrible odor. My husband took the girls in his car once and had to roll all the windows down because he could not stand the smell. It bothers my daughter, but she feels bad for Beth because people make fun of her at school.

Yesterday was the last straw. Beth came over, and the girls were making cookies. Her odor was so bad I couldn’t breathe while being in the same room with her. It was awful. After she left, I had to spray my house with air freshener.

I’m angry with Beth’s parents because they don’t teach her about bathing regularly and ignore how this affects their child’s self-esteem. Do I say something to the parents? Do I tell my daughter she can’t have Beth come over anymore? How should I handle this awful, uncomfortable situation? – Holding My Nose

Dear Holding My Nose: You are in an excellent position to teach this girl about hygiene, and we hope you will have the compassion to do so. Say kindly, “Beth, you may not be aware that you have a slight odor. How often do you shower? Do you wear deodorant? Is your underwear washed daily?” Would you be willing to let her use your shower when she visits, keeping deodorant in the bathroom just for her? It’s worth the embarrassment of mentioning it if you can be a positive influence in this girl’s life. (It’s also possible Beth has a medical condition that produces the odor. If so, suggest to her parents that she get a referral to an endocrinologist.)

Dear Annie: I know a lot of women share two last names, usually a maiden name hyphenated with a married name. My situation is different.

I was married for many years to “John Smith” and was recently divorced. My children are now grown, and I’m planning on getting married again soon to “Bob Jones.” My ex-husband and my future husband and I are all close friends, and we get along great. Once I marry Mr. Jones and take his name, would it be proper to use both last names, even though neither is my maiden name? My ex-husband has not remarried, so there wouldn’t be another woman using his name. – To Add or Subtract

Dear Add: Yes, you can be Mrs. Smith-Jones. Hyphenated names are a relatively recent trend, and people have been making up the rules as they go along. If Mr. Jones doesn’t mind, neither do we.