Smart bombs: All ethics bark, no bite

Last January, Spokane City Councilman Al French said this about the ethics code that would soon be adopted:

“This is high in the minds of the community because of what we’ve just gone through.”

French was referring to the recall of Jim West and the elevation of Dennis Hession to the job of mayor.

Almost a year later, the city is still without an Ethics Commission, which means it cannot enforce the code. The mayor is still in search of candidates.

Last year at this time, the U.S. Congress was talking about an overhaul of its ethics guidelines. That effort also hasn’t borne any fruit, but the House is working on a package that would seriously limit the gifts and travel and entertainment perks of representatives. There’s also talk of establishing an independent body to oversee the new guidelines.

It would be pretty embarrassing if a massive body like Congress were to move faster on this than the city of Spokane.

Black is black. Happens to me every time:

Me: “Tall black coffee, please.”

Them: “Do you want room (for cream)?”

In my dreams, I’m working at a burger joint and a barista walks in and says, “I’ll have a burger with everything.”

And I reply, “Do you want onions?”

We can do it. You can help. When the board of directors for Home Depot hired Robert Nardelli as its chief executive officer in 2000, the worst possible outcome for him was a $210 million severance check. Oh, and his health care covered for three years, because it would be unseemly for him to pay for that while looking for his next patsy.

A golden parachute? One compensation consultant called it a platinum helicopter. Nardelli was forced to board that chopper last week, but since he somehow lasted six years while Home Depot’s stock declined and the company lost market share to Lowe’s, he also cleared another $225 million in pay.

But his reign of error could actually result in positive changes in executive pay. It seems even corporate leaders are a bit embarrassed by this latest example of pay for nonperformance. And even if they weren’t, influential investors are on the warpath against overpaid chieftains.

For instance, large shareholders also want the ouster of the directors who designed Nardelli’s sweetheart package. If they succeed, expect a wave of boardroom bloodlettings.

And if that weren’t enough – and it’s not – Congress and the Securities Exchange Commission are pressuring companies to be more forthcoming about their executive pay packages.

So if you’re a shareholder, it pays to complain.

Monday, Monday. Presidents Day. Semester Break Day. Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

For working parents with school-age kids, those Monday holidays pose the first logistical challenge of every new year.

Forgive us if we’re not in a festive mood.