Boomers and Beyond: Now, we have more options for aging

What to do with Grandma? Well, it’s a whole new ball game in 2007.

Not too long ago, when Grandma (or, any aging relative or loved one) got too old to live alone, she would come to live with her kids and their families. No big deal; it was the custom. The children loved it, and so did Grandma. They learned a lot from her, and she was another rock in their lives, another person to love and guide them.

And when Grandma became too ill to be taken care of by the family, she either went to the nursing home or everyone at home pitched in and took care of her. That was it. No discussion.

Let’s move ahead, out of the “dark ages” of the 1970s or 1980s to 2007.

The picture has definitely changed. Oh, there’s still plenty of discussion among family members about what to do with Grandma. The problem is, family members are scattered all over the country and are mainly available (like the rest of the world) only through e-mail, voice mail and answering machines.

Is anybody even home anymore? Grandma has lived so many years that by the time she needs help, her adult children have finished raising their families and are acting like kids again themselves. They are busy working, volunteering, traveling, golfing, learning to speak Greek, meditating to find inner peace and the meaning of life, or what have you, and they can only be reached on their cell phones (maybe).

All right, so Grandma can’t move in with her kids, but where she goes is still a matter for family discussion. In 2007, Grandma’s kids have a lot of options before them, options that did not even exist a generation ago.

What happened? The exploding senior population happened, and our entrepreneurial American spirit did not miss the trend. There are services and housing options that offer just about every level of care imaginable, from minimal help to total care.

It’s now possible to keep Grandma in her own home, where she would infinitely prefer to be, months or even years longer. One trend, known as “aging in place,” is a wonderful option for a healthy elder whose strength and mental capacity may have started to decline, but who is far from needing assisted living or nursing home care.

Aging in place usually requires a few home modifications to make the elder’s home safer and more workable, i.e., installing grab bars, shower stalls, stair railings, improved lighting, and reducing clutter and congestion. Information abounds on how to make a home elder-friendly – check out your local library or bookstore.

While still living in her own home, outside service providers can be utilized to help Grandma with housework and shopping. Home-delivered meals are also available.

Another great option for Grandma is a senior housing complex. This independent living environment is safer and less isolating than being in her own home and it provides the all-important opportunity to socialize with others. Outside care services can still be utilized as needed.

An assisted-living facility is the next level, and it would be suitable when Grandma needs more help with her activities of daily living. This environment is like a studio apartment in a hotel. Communal meals are served in the dining room, and there are organized activities and on-site nurses to dispense medications. There are lots of opportunities for socializing and visiting, but there’s still that vital sense for Grandma, of “having her own place.” She can have all the privacy she needs, too.

When a family member is providing care to an ailing relative who is living with them, the rest of the family should be alert to caregiver burnout. It is essential for the caregiver to get occasional respite from the unrelenting demands of care giving.

At some point the ailing relative may need to be moved into a skilled nursing facility, formerly known as a nursing home. This is the highest level of care available, and the final step in total care.

As a senior, we should not act like an ostrich and ignore our future needs. Make it easy on everyone: Research the options, make informed choices and then discuss them with your family.

Aging is a family affair – that’s a given. Although they are concerned, few families are informed about the abundance of options that exist today for Grandma – it’s really quite surprising. There’s help for almost every situation – some free, some for a fee.

To talk to someone about aging issues, call Aging Connections – just dial 211. It is a free help line run by Area Agency on Aging of North Idaho and Idaho Department of Health and Welfare.

How simple is that? It’s like the “easy button” for heaven’s sake!