Elder Maze: Elder abuse is tragic, often goes unreported

A funny thing happened to me on the way to this column about elder abuse. The day I began writing, I received a call from a longtime friend. He sought my counsel about a close family member who is being financially exploited by another family member.

I cannot discuss the situation here. But his call certainly underscores this truth about elder abuse. According to “15 Questions and Answers About Elder Abuse,” a booklet distributed by the National Center on Elder Abuse, the majority of abusers are family members, most often an adult child or spouse.

As disturbing as that observation may be, it is not the only tragic thing you may not know about elder abuse. Regardless of who the abuser might be, another sad fact is that elder abuse is significantly underreported.

For example, at the May 24 North Idaho Conference on Aging, our entire day was devoted to “Understanding Elder Abuse and Exploitation.” In the seminar (where I was a student) the trainer said that about 40 percent of elder abuse is believed to be financial exploitation.

It is estimated that only about 7 to 20 percent of financial abuse cases are reported. Some elders who are abused in this manner are embarrassed to tell others they’ve been scammed. Others don’t realize someone has taken advantage of them.

Actually, many forms of elder abuse happen – and continue – because those persons either can’t believe they’ve been abused in some way, or they are unaware that what happens to them is really a form of abuse. But abuse happens, friends, and sometimes “in the best of families.”

Do you want a very helpful summary of what elder abuse is and what can be done to either identify it or even stop it? The booklet I mentioned above, “15 Questions and Answers About Elder Abuse,” is a good start.

It can be downloaded from www.elderabusecenter.org, or by contacting National Center on Elder Abuse, 1201 15th St. NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20005.

The booklet addresses 15 common-sense questions such as “What is elder abuse?”, “What are the warning signs of elder abuse?”, and “What can I do to help?”

Here are some partial answers from the booklet to the first and last of these important questions.

What is elder abuse? It is “any knowing, intended, or careless act that causes harm or serious risk of harm to an older person – physically, mentally, emotionally or financially. The term is quite broad and encompasses many different types of mistreatment.”

What can I do to help? “Every older person has the right to be safe. Here are some important ways you can make a difference: 1) Know that elder abuse can happen to anyone; 2) Speak up if you have concerns, trust your instincts!; 3) Report any suspicions of elder abuse to the nearest authorities (911 or police are a good start); 4) Keep a watchful eye out for family, friends, and neighbors who may be vulnerable; 5) Donate your time as a volunteer … find out how you can … make a difference; 6) Spread the word. Share what you’ve learned about elder abuse.”

Friends, elder abuse is a significant problem, even if it happens to only one elder. But elder abuse wears countless faces, desperate faces.

Please care enough to become aware of what elder abuse is and how you can deal with it in healthy ways – whether for yourself, a family member or a friend. If you believe someone is being abused, find the courage within to tell someone else of your concern. You just might save someone’s life.