Online dating advice

Tips from Online Dating Magazine spokesman James Houran, Ph.D.:

“”With online dating, not only can you meet far more people than you ever could on your own, but more varieties of more people. … Many people think that they have a particular type, but when they go exploring and talking to people and learning really what fish are in the sea, they discover something about their own needs and tastes and wants that they didn’t know before.”

“”With online dating, you can browse before you talk to anybody. You can get to know them a little ahead of time, reading their profile, looking at a compatibility test result, looking through their photos. So you can safely, and not in an awkward way, get to know them a little first before you even communicate.”

“”People tend to form attachments rather quickly online, much more so that offline. I think it has something to do with the anonymity that is there. It acts somewhat like a confessional. You’re talking through a box. You have a mask on, for all practical purposes. Because of that, people are actually a little bit more uninhibited online.”

“”People need to read the terms and conditions of membership very carefully. All sites have different terms and conditions. Some sites you have to pay money, other sites you don’t. Some sites have special requirements to become a member. So it’s important to understand the culture of a certain online dating community before they decide to join and participate.”

“”Don’t feel that you need to join just one. It is often wise to spread your eggs around, you know? Diversify. Many people, we know from marketing research, have more than one membership on any site at any given time.”

“”Ask yourself: ‘Did I just come out of a divorce?’ ‘Was I recently widowed?’ ‘Am I trying to get back into the dating game?’ If so, you’re probably going to want to come in slower, more casually than somebody who knows, for examples, that ‘I want to find a lifelong partner.’ “

“”When we’re in the early stages of love, we’re really excited, we tend to have blinders on, we become very disoriented, preoccupied. We tend to focus only on the good things in another person. ‘We must be soulmates, we love Barry Manilow.’ ‘We both play pool, this is love at first sight.’ But we forget to ask about the other things – ‘How do you manage money? Do you want children? How do you resolve conflicts?’ “