Smart bombs: Vindication slips away

It’s as if Lemony Snicket is haunting President Bush with a series of unfortunate events. Recent scandals wouldn’t be scandals if he could just catch a break. But, darn the luck, exculpatory information keeps escaping down the memory hole:

“Lewis “Scooter” Libby, then-chief of staff for Vice President Dick Cheney, can’t remember having conversations with reporters about CIA officer Valerie Plame. That brain cramp made it look like the administration was being deceptive. Darn the luck. If he had just remembered that bit of trivia, the scandal would’ve gone away.

“U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales (as of Friday afternoon) tells the American people that he wasn’t involved in discussions about the firing of the federal prosecutors. Darn the luck. If he had just searched his memory a bit longer, he could’ve been “more precise” by saying the opposite. Goodbye, scandal.

“The head of the federal General Services Administration, Lurita Doan, invites Karl Rove’s deputy to host a videoconference on Jan. 26 for the agency’s top political appointees about key Republican electoral targets for the 2008 congressional races, and she can’t remember if she said something like this to her senior officials afterwards: “How can we help our candidates in the next elections through targeted public events?”

Darn the luck. If she could’ve just remembered that she said no such thing, or, better yet, had turned away a White House political operative, this whole notion that she violated the Hatch Act, which prohibits partisan activities on federal property, would go away. But, no, she said this to Congress on Wednesday: “I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit this, but I can say that I honestly don’t have recollection of the presentation at all.”

Poor President Bush. Just as scrutiny on his administration increases, he hits a patch of bad luck.

A tax on good news. It’s that time of year for the propaganda known as Tax Freedom Day. This bit of political nonsense is served up annually by the Tax Foundation, and the media devour it. The genius of the measurement is that it takes good news like rising incomes and rising property values and transforms them into horrors.

Tax Freedom Day is the day when “average Americans” stop working to pay taxes and begin to take home money for themselves. The perverse part is that Tax Freedom Day arrives later when the economy is doing well. This year, the magical date is April 30. In 2003, as the economy fully absorbed the bursting tech bubble and the 9/11 terrorist attacks, freedom came at its earliest point since being measured: April 18.

Hastening freedom. Want Tax Freedom day to arrive sooner? Demand a pay cut. Buy property where values are declining. Move to Oklahoma.