Senator’s ‘wide stance’ has become defining moment

Warning: You may want to skip today’s edition of Huckleberries if you’re suffering from Larry Craig Fatigue Syndrome. LCFS symptoms include: Eyes that glaze over whenever you hear the name of the senior U.S. senator from Idaho. Avoidance of monologues by Jay Leno, David Letterman and other late-night TV talk-show hosts. An overwhelming desire to say you’re from Iowa instead of Idaho. Now, onward. At warp speed, the term “wide stance” has found a secure place in the Urban Dictionary. It has become a euphemism for “a homosexual, especially one who is closeted.” Craig, of course, continues to maintain that he’s hetero despite the infamous incident in the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport bathroom that led to his arrest June 11 and a guilty plea to disorderly conduct. Now, the Urban Dictionary offers seven different definitions for “wide stance,” most of which refer to Craig in some way. Definition No. 1 includes the verbiage: “Prior to pleading guilty, Sen. Craig attempted to explain his behavior by claiming that his shoe touched the officer’s underneath the partition because he had a ‘wide stance,’ when going to the bathroom.” Then, it illustrates the term with this sentence: “Genevieve is really crushing hard on the varsity QB. Someone should tell her that the dude has a wide stance.” Alternative definitions include: “An improbable or ridiculous excuse for one’s actions.” And: “A term for a homosexual, conservative, white-collar person in a position of power who doesn’t want his sexuality to be publicly revealed.” Sounds as though the Urban Dictionary researchers aren’t buying Sen. Craig’s excuse for the shoe touching. Or anyone else, for that matter.