Parent should get to root of teen’s isolation

Dear Annie: My youngest daughter, “Eve,” is 15 and recently started her sophomore year in high school. Lately, she has not been herself. She used to be a vibrant, social girl who would often spend days hanging out with friends. She smiled and laughed often.

Recently, she has become reclusive. I rarely see her smile or laugh. She comes home from school, does homework and spends the rest of the night in her room staring at the ceiling.

I’m very worried about my daughter and don’t know what to do. Eve won’t talk to anyone in the family, and she has been turning down invitations to go out with her friends. She is like a stranger in my house. Please help me. – Worried in Memphis

Dear Memphis: There could be any number of things going on, but you are smart to pay attention to something that many parents brush off as typical teenage behavior. Here are a few things to look for: Is Eve being bullied or harassed at school by other students? By boys? By teachers? Is she struggling with academics? Has she been rejected by a romantic interest? Might she be having a problem with her sexual identity? Is she taking drugs or using alcohol? Is she depressed?

First, Eve should have a thorough medical checkup because often the problem is physiological. If that isn’t the case, open up a dialogue, calmly and lovingly, and listen with an open mind. You also should make an appointment with the school counselor. Eve may act as if she resents your interference, but she will be relieved to know someone cares enough to get involved and throw her a lifeline.

Dear Annie: I have been married 24 years to a man I love very much. As the years have gone by, we both have aged accordingly. We were recently at an anniversary party for my husband’s brother and ran into a high school acquaintance. She proceeded to poke fun at my husband’s bald head, and a female friend of hers followed suit. This continued for the entire party.

I was quite offended by this behavior. I felt as if I were back in the schoolyard. My husband handled the situation well and just ignored these rude people. I am obviously still bothered by this, however, and want to let these people know how rude they were. Any thoughts? – Aging with Dignity

Dear Aging: It should be your husband’s choice how to handle this since the insults were directed at him. We think he behaved well. If you do not see this particular woman often, we’d ignore her. She and her friend obviously lack both tact and common sense. Neither of them is worth the bother.