Battle of the Bands promises to rock Hayden
It seems everyone these days is competing for the spotlight.
From the surreal hit TV show “America’s Got Talent” to the karaoke contest down at the local pub, more and more folks seem willing to take to the stage and put themselves through the rigors of public scrutiny.
In our wonderfully strange culture, anyone from legitimate hitmakers like Kelly Clarkson to lovable oddballs like “Boy Shakira” can rise from obscurity to star status almost instantaneously.
Winners may not always go on to huge fame and fortune, but they do get to gloat in the congratulatory afterglow that comes with winning.
Friday and next Saturday, 10 local rock acts will be duking it out for the grand prize as Weenis Inc. and Rock 94.5 present the Battle of the Bands at the Rock Joint in Hayden.
Colleen Smith, proprietress of Coeur d’Alene’s premier body-piercing studio Weenis Inc., came up with the Battle of the Bands idea as a way to let people know that a lively scene of original hard-rock music is thriving in North Idaho, a fact that may surprise those used to hearing only classic-rock cover bands and acoustic singer-songwriters.
Smith is a veteran of the local underground music scene, having put together annual Christmas for All punk-rock benefit shows for many years as well as hosting the occasional mayhem-filled blowout in the basement of her business on Fourth Street, which she shares with tattoo studio Inkworld.
“I feel like I stood back and watched a lot of these bands grow up,” said Smith. “It seems like the rock and metal scene was way quiet for a while in this town. I wanted to bring everyone together and wake it up again.”
Each of the 10 participating bands will play 40-minute sets on Friday from noon to 9 p.m., with judging to follow at 9:30. The top five winning acts will return next Saturday at noon for the big “rock-off,” followed by final judging at 7 p.m.
The band chosen as the best of the best will play again as the headline act at about 9 p.m.
The winning band also will receive a dazzling assortment of cool prizes, be immortalized on the Rock Joint Wall of Fame, earn some precious airtime on Rock 94.5 and get a heck of a lot of high-fives.
If the band is really lucky, some big music industry honchos will be sitting in the audience, smoking giant cigars and clutching lucrative record company contracts. You never know.
If you cherish your eardrums and like to sit close to the stage, you may want to bring hearing protection. Pretty much all the bands play a very loud form of hard rock.
Bands will be judged in three categories: originality, stage presence and overall sound.
Here’s the lineup for round one:
“Lithium.ID – This Hayden trio has been grinding out melodic and fuzzy punk rock since 2004. Singer Zac and company built a sizable local fan base with thunderous but catchy original songs that come off a bit like Nirvana on a Diet Coke buzz.
“LOC – Formerly known as Soul Hammer, this Coeur d’Alene-based three-piece band’s name is an acronym for “lack of change,” an early song title. Its self-titled 2006 album proved that these metal heads can write some memorable tunes, but it doesn’t really do justice to the skull-rattling noise the group has been known to whip up live.
“Forthrite – Representing Post Falls is multi-instrumentalist Gary Pool. “Power screamer” Austin Karn and three others complete this progressive metal quintet. “Real music is coming back to the Northwest,” said Pool. “We are tired of the noise that people call music.”
“Exit Zero – These guys have been gigging around their hometown of Coeur d’Alene for five years and have become one of the area’s most popular hard-rock bands. Says drummer Noah White, “From the dive bars to the Big Easy (in Spokane), we have fun. PERIOD. This is what we live (for) and love to do, and I don’t see us quitting anytime soon.”
“Benign – Born in Coeur d’Alene but currently based in Spokane, this metal quartet positively pummels listeners with mega-intense, high-speed guitar thrash, pounding drums and guttural voices. Not recommended for fans of Celine Dion or the Carpenters.
“State of Grace – In only a year and half of existence, this Spokane metal four-piece group has opened shows for big-name, big-hair acts such as Firehouse, Warrant and LA Guns. However, ‘80s glam is nowhere to be found in the menacingly heavy darkness of State of Grace’s horror rock.
“Dirt Nap – “Martha Stewart, Skeletor, Luke Skywalker, William Hung and your mom” make up the random assortment of folks this Coeur d’Alene heavy-metal band claims as influences. If I listen closely, I’m pretty sure you can hear the Martha-ness, but my mom is too much of a mellow jazz lady to come up with something this hard.
“Bent Penny – Injecting some much-needed femininity into the mainly testosterone-fueled weekend is Coeur d’Alene’s only all-girl cowpunk quartet. Its sound is tight and unique, colored with sweetly harmonic vocal lines and a layer of wild violin atop a classically aggressive punk sound.
“Keres – This Coeur d’Alene five-piece group rose from the ashes of death metal act Morbid Bliss after that band had bled its last drop of crimson blood, so to speak. Keres’ listed musical influences include bands with names like Dying Fetus, Pig Destroyer and Decapitated, so that should give you a pretty good idea of what to expect from these guys.
“2 Stones Thrown – Apparently this band is so fresh and new, the only thing known is that it calls Coeur d’Alene home. Other details are a mystery, so you’ll have to come to the show if you want to know more.
In addition to the music, the Battle of the Bands promises to bring a festival atmosphere to the asphalt lot behind the Rock Joint. With all the vendors and activities Smith and friends have lined up for next weekend, it’s going to be pretty much impossible for attendees to become bored.
Pyramid Printing and Skate Lab will set up half-pipes and ramps and perform some impressively death-defying skateboard stunts.
The Hive Tattoo Shop will be trekking in from Moses Lake with a booth full of rock ‘n’ roll merchandise such as temporary tattoos, T-shirts, shoes, leather accessories and hair dye in every color of the rainbow.
Palm reading will be done by Celtic Moon, who also will be vending an assortment of gifts, candles and incense.
Opal’s Originals will be on hand with an assortment of unique, handmade beaded jewelry.
And a ton of raffles and giveaways are planned by Rock 94.5 and local beer and liquor distributors.
Weenis Inc. will be doing body piercing on Friday from 1 to 7 p.m., so if you’ve been itching for a bellybutton ring or something even more exotic, here’s your opportunity to have it done by the only fully licensed piercing studio in North Idaho.
Most intriguingly, next Saturday from 2 p.m. to 7 p.m., Smith will be set up for doing full body suspensions and assorted sideshow acts.
(If you’re squeamish, now is the time to put down your toast.) In full body suspensions, the participants receive four to six large hooks through the flesh of their backs; then they are completely suspended off the ground with some (I hope) very strong ropes.
Smith describes the resultant adrenaline rush as inducing “an altered state of consciousness, enlightenment, a sort-of-druggy state of mind.”
Well, it is cheaper than illegal drugs and likely not as addictive, but certainly this is an activity only for those brave few with the steeliest of intestinal fortitude.
Sideshow acts will include the implementation of cheek spears – which is exactly what it sounds like – as well as body corseting, a fetish act wherein someone is squeezed into a tiny garment and its laces are pulled as tight as humanly possible for the supposed enjoyment of the participant.
Clearly, this strictly 21-and-over Battle of the Bands weekend isn’t your ordinary quaint country festival. But it promises to be a blast for supporters of local hard-rock music – and for those with open minds.