The Slice

Mon., Sept. 10, 2007

The Spokesman-Review

THE SLICE

You might be shocked to learn that people in the same family can have radically different answers to the following seasonal question.

How long does a football game last?

A) It has to be measured in geologic time. B) Long enough for me to review my life and conclude that I was insane to waste 10 percent of it watching sports. C) How long? Not long. D) Four hours — but it feels like only three and a half. E) Long enough that I can get drunk, fall asleep, take a long nap and then wake up to discover it’s not even halftime yet. F) It depends on how much passing there is. G) It depends on the number of TV timeouts. H) Long enough that someone I won’t name could have completely cleaned out the garage. I) Forever and a day. J) It depends on who won.

Paul Turner

pault@spokesman.com

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