Fill loneliness by reaching out
Dear Annie: I am an only child, and my parents are deceased. The only relatives left on my mother’s side are an uncle and cousin by marriage, both over 80, who live out of state. My father’s family is also gone except for one 80-year-old cousin with whom I have little contact, and some second cousins closer to my age (64), who live far away. My late husband was an only child. His parents are dead. He had two children before we married, but I am not in touch with them.
Are there support groups for people who are so totally alone in the world? The grief and depression of having no family is overwhelming. Please don’t suggest senior groups. I’ve found them to be a collection of white-haired folks nearer to my parents’ age who like to listen to music from before my time. I don’t want to hear “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad.” I like AC/DC and ZZ Top.
Can you find anything for me? – Dying of Loneliness in Oregon
Dear Oregon: You can reach out to those family members you still have and make an effort to get closer. Or you can make new friends who will become your family. You are wrong that senior organizations aren’t for you. Take another look at AARP (aarp.org or 888-687-2277). Boomers are members now, and they are singing your songs. Also, check out the Red Hat Society (redhatsociety.com). In addition to your volunteer work, consider joining a book club, community choir or theater production. Work for a political candidate. Put up a notice at your church and see if others are interested in starting a support group for those without nearby family. You will have to make an effort to get involved, but once you get started, you’ll feel better.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Frigid Mom,” who is married and has two children and says she’s lost her sex drive.
I have a suggestion for her: exercise. She should particularly use weights. I had the same problem with depression and a very low sex drive. I started exercising, and the sex drive went up, up, up. It also has helped my depression. Exercise and healthy eating are some of the best ways to help bring you to a normal state of mind and body without using pills. – Feeling Better Now
Dear Feeling Better: There is no question that exercise raises endorphins and can help relieve symptoms of depression, and a healthier body makes everything work better. Thanks for the reminder.
Dear Readers: Today is the sixth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Please take a moment to remember the victims, and the families and friends who mourn them.