Dear Diane: Comments about being thin hurtful

Wed., Sept. 12, 2007

Diane Verhoeven King Features Syndicate

Dear Diane: I’m 21, 5 feet 10 inches tall and weigh 110 pounds. I have always been naturally very thin and eat as much as I can to try and get my weight up. I even drink beverages that claim to add weight for a few extra calories to help.

I talk about it with my doctor and do all I can, but still get people constantly telling me to eat something or that I look ill or telling me I have anorexia.

It’s very frustrating that they never believe that I really do want my weight up. What can I tell them to explain how much it bothers me and that comments like that are hurtful?

— Skinny Chick in Chico

Dear Chico: I can’t tell you how many letters I’ve received over the years from people who are hurting because of the comments of others — no matter how well-intentioned they may be.

It sounds to me that you are genetically predisposed to being thin. Lucky you. I just look at a slice of chocolate cake and my thighs balloon to twice their size.

I’m glad to hear that you have spoken with your doctor and that he or she has determined that your weight is not a result of any illness or syndrome. As far as I’m concerned, if your doctor says you’re healthy at your present weight, don’t fiddle around with your body or its metabolism.

As far as the unsolicited comments, there’s not much you can do, but tell your friends and family that their comments are affecting you in an unpleasant way and that they are doing you more harm than good. When it comes to strangers, there’s not much you can do about their comments except have a snappy retort handy.

Local journalism is essential.

Give directly to The Spokesman-Review's Northwest Passages community forums series -- which helps to offset the costs of several reporter and editor positions at the newspaper -- by using the easy options below. Gifts processed in this system are tax deductible.

Meet Our Journalists

Jesse Tinsley

Meet Jesse Tinsley. As a certified drone pilot, this veteran Spokesman-Review photographer often can be seen capturing beautiful aerial photographs of our region. Sometimes though, the job requires getting down with the dogs.
Jim Meehan

Jim Meehan is no stranger to Zag Nation. As the lead writer covering the Gonzaga men’s basketball team, he tells the stories behind the game and gets fans a bit closer to their favorite players.
Molly Quinn

There is no artist in Spokane like Molly Quinn. Her whimsical style is instantly recognizable to readers of The Spokesman-Review. She has painted gorgeous illustrations that instantly elevate the journalism accompanying it. She brings to life the stories that defy photography. She makes our pages better.
Rob Curley

Spokesman-Review editor Rob Curley loves to talk with people and learn about their lives, whether it's a best-selling author or a stranger he meets downtown on his walk to lunch. It's that inquisitive nature combined with a playful sense of storytelling that helps make our newspaper different than most.