Holy Humor Sunday jokes

Some jokes from Holy Humor Sunday at Opportunity Christian Church:

• The ship was sinking fast. The captain called out, “Anyone here know how to pray?” One man stepped forward; “I do, Captain.”

“Good,” said the captain. “You pray. The rest of us will put on life preservers; we’re one short.”

• A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short on time and couldn’t find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: “I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here, I’ll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses.”

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note: “I’ve circled this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket I’ll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.”

• During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had 12 opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. – From “A Book Report on the Entire Bible: Through the Eves of a Child.”