One bad thought deserves a dozen more

Many of us know people who believe that envisioning worst-case scenarios is one way to prevent them from happening.

That kind of magical thinking can really get a workout during vacation season.

But what if you don’t have a great imagination? What if you have trouble dreaming up things that might go wrong while you are away?

Just about anybody can picture burglaries and layoff announcements. But to defuse more unpredictable potential bad news by pre-emptively fretting about it, you might need help.

So today The Slice wants to assist prospective vacationers by suggesting some unexpected events that could take place while you are out of town. And, as the theory goes, simply considering these unhappy occurrences will reduce their likelihood of taking place.

1. You get assigned to a hurry-up project that the boss will already have soured on by the time you get back.

2. Your neighborhood is annexed by Athol.

3. Your department’s smart, sane administrative assistant is replaced by someone whose only real interest is wearing tight tops that showcase her figure.

4. The vacant rental house across the street is listed in the paper as a “Mullet-wearer’s special.”

5. Your attic becomes an all-ages night club for raccoons.

6. Your work station is officially designated the Interns Dining Room and Disco Lounge.

7. Some low-talker who wears noxious perfume spends 26 hours slobbering into your phone.

8. The Spokane area experiences an entire week of exactly the kind of weather for which you have been waiting.

9. Your company is acquired by Clown Town day care.

10. Your pet sitter reads a pamphlet and decamps to an ashram in Oregon.

11. Your desk becomes the unofficial diaper-changing station.

12. The GPS tracker you secretly attached to your office chair now shows it is in North Dakota.

•Mystery solved: Barbara Keene and her husband, Dave, were ready to head off to the lake. But they were stopped in their tracks by a buzzing they could not identify.

Several theories were investigated and ruled out.

Finally, Barbara turned to Dave and said, “Open your case and turn off the darned razor.”

•Mosquitoes update: Sidney Blomquist, who lives in North Spokane, said they are already out in force. “I’ve been so busy slapping and scratching I’ve had little time for anything else.”

•Warm-up question: When someone tells you that one of her kids is starting driver’s ed, are condolences in order?

•Today’s Slice question: Why aren’t there more bicycle racks in Spokane?