Military mommies take on dual role

After spending the past six years working at home and caring for her four young sons, Mikayla Daniels recently added some new responsibilities to her list.

To prepare for war.

To respond to emergencies and natural disasters.

To serve her country. To serve her state.

Last month, the Deer Park resident stood before the U.S. and Washington state flags, raised her right hand and took an oath of enlistment as a member of the Air National Guard.

Now, as she shuttles kids to play dates and plans a pirate-themed party for her eldest son’s sixth birthday, Daniels also has been getting ready to leave her family.

Next month, Daniels will kiss her husband and children goodbye and fly to Lackland Air Force Base in Texas, where she will receive basic training. She will be away from her family for a total of seven months.

“I have had a lot of people ask me why I would be willing to leave my kids for so long, especially since I have been a stay-at-home mom for the last six years,” said Daniels, who’s 29. “I think of this as setting a good example for my children. I love this country. We have so many rights and freedoms that people take for granted. This is my way of showing my commitment to my country and to my state.”

Joining the Air National Guard also will provide her with the training that will serve as a stepping stone toward a career in nursing, said Daniels, who will serve as a medical technician for the 141st Air Refueling Wing based out of Fairchild Air Force Base. It’s a benefit that will help her family down the road, she said.

Still, it’s a tremendous sacrifice, acknowledged several people on The Spokesman-Review’s Parents’ Council blog (spokesmanreview.com /blogs/parents). Daniels, one of the founding members of the Parents Council, first wrote about her decision to join the National Guard in January, in a thread titled “Moms in the Military.”

Others who posted on the blog commended her willingness to join the military. They also offered her words of comfort as she gets ready to leave her family behind.

“I think talking with other families who’ve been through the same kind of thing will help,” wrote commenter Debbie G. “Just know that you’re children won’t forget you and your husband is perfectly capable of caring for them.”

There are currently 201 women assigned to the three Air National Guard units in Eastern Washington – the 141st Air Refueling Wing, the 242nd Combat Communications Squadron at Geiger and the 256th Combat Communications Squadron at Four Lakes. At least 89 of them are mothers. Women also account for nearly 20 percent of the people who serve in the Washington Air National Guard, according to 2007 statistics.

Meanwhile, more women also are being called to active duty. Nearly half of all the women in the U.S. military have been deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan since 2001, according to 2006 statistics from the Department of Defense. Nearly 38 percent of women on active military duty also have children.

“Like mothers in the civilian world, mothers in the military face challenges in balancing work with family, such as meeting monthly expenses, finding and accessing high quality child care, and accessing quality health-care services for their families and themselves,” according to “Helping Military Moms Balance Family and Longer Deployments,” a 2007 report from Congress’ Joint Economic Committee. “Yet, military moms often face the added burden of lengthy and more frequent deployments and separation from their children and spouses.”

Despite the hardship of being away from her family, Daniels’ decision to join the Air National Guard was fueled by patriotism, she said, as well as a dream since high school to join the military.

As a kid growing up in Eagle River, Alaska – a community near Elmendorf Air Force Base and the Army installation Fort Richardson, Daniels was raised in an environment where military duty was almost a fact of life. When she was in high school, she joined ROTC and received a distinguished cadet award during her first year.

But despite her intention to sign up for the military after high school, her life followed a different path. Daniels ended up moving to Portland, where she met her husband, James, and where they both graduated from the Western Culinary Institute.

The couple moved to the Spokane area in 2003. They now live on 40 acres in Deer Park next to Mikayla’s parents, who help them with their 5-year-old, twin 3-year-olds and 2-year-old. “I’ve been at home all this time and I wanted to do something different,” said Daniels, recalling her decision to join the National Guard.

After much research and reflection, she called a recruiter last October.

James Daniels, a truck driver, encouraged his wife to join. Now that she’ll be away for basic training, he has made arrangements to stay home with the kids.

“Once I’m gone (for basic training), my kids will understand that mommy won’t be there for a while,” Mikayla Daniels said. “But other than that, their world isn’t going to change that much. Daddy will keep taking them to play group and they’ll have their grandparents. … It will be beneficial for our boys to see their father more and he will have a deeper understanding of our kids.”

After basic training, she will be required to spend one weekend a month and two weeks during the summer to train with her unit.

The military offers many programs to support families while a parent is away for training, according to Mary O. Thomas, wing family program coordinator for the Washington Air National Guard. Those programs include child care during training weekends as well as access to trained volunteers provided by the 141st Air Refueling Wing Family Readiness Group, the 92nd Air Refueling Wing Airman and Family Readiness Center, Operation Spokane Heroes and other groups.

“For unit members and their families, help is a phone call away,” Thomas wrote in an e-mail.

Learning to be away from your loved ones is also part of joining the armed forces, some say.

“Families of military members are used to the military individual leaving home for a period of time – whether they are men or women,” explained Major Lisa McLeod of the 141st Air Refueling Wing, who’s 42 and the mother of two daughters in elementary school.

“Because of this, families are able to cope without them for a period of time. Even if women are the primary caretakers while they are home, once they leave home their families are able to adjust and take care of business while she is away.”

Right now, Daniels is going to the gym six times a week to get in shape for basic training. She said she’s prepared to serve and even to be deployed during this time of war.

“Don’t get me wrong, it would be hard to be separated from my family,” she said. “But I don’t waste time worrying about dying.”

Although she sometimes lies awake at night, asking herself, “What have I gotten myself into?,” Daniels also can’t help but feel a sense of excitement as she embarks on this new chapter in her life.

“Basic training will be the experience of a lifetime,” she said. “It’s very exciting to me. It will be up there with my wedding and the birth of my children.”