People: They’re not really a bunch of lowlifes

Why, why, why?

You’re the mother of one of the most hounded people on the planet: Lindsay Lohan.

And yet here you are, enabling your 14-year-old daughter, Ali, to pursue a similar career track.

And, for added measure, you have just opened up your house in Long Island to a TV network so that the rest of the world can look inside.

Funny how the same question always seems to come up with Dina Lohan, who’s been making the rounds to promote her eight-part E! network reality show, “Living Lohan,” that debuts Monday (10:30 p.m., cable channel 64 in Spokane; 7:30 p.m, cable channel 53 in Coeur d’Alene).

And, not surprisingly, she has an answer.

“Initially if you’d asked me two years ago, ‘Would we do something like this?’ it would definitely be a no,” the elder Lohan says.

“I never even thought reality (TV) would be existence now. But there are so many rumors about us and I feel that we’re in the power seat right now so that I’m able as a mom to say, ‘This is our life, check us out and move on so we can be normal.’ “

Which, naturally, begs another question: What exactly is the meaning of “normal” in the context of any family with the last name Lohan?

“We live a normal existence in suburbia,” she says. “I do the food shopping, the laundry.

“There is so much sensationalism out there and people are so obsessed with celebrity. This doesn’t consume us. It really doesn’t and by showing our life, we’ll show that I don’t get up and crack the whip and say, ‘Wake up, Ali, and go be a star.’ “

You almost don’t even have to ask Lohan about the rumors; they hang about her, like an impenetrable fog.

Of Lindsay’s well-publicized drug and alcohol problems, she says, “I don’t mean to go in depth with that, but with any family across the country, it’s a problem. It would happen no matter where you are or what business you’re in, and, God willing, people learn from their mistakes.”

So why tempt fate a second time with your youngest daughter? “Living Lohan” follows Mom and Ali to Las Vegas, where the 14-year-old aspiring singer records another album.

“(T)hat’s with any career,” Dina says. “It’s like me telling my son, ‘You can’t play lacrosse because you’re going to get hurt.’ “

Ali does, by the way, seem like a nice, normal 14-year-old who genuinely loves her mother.

“She’s our manager and like any other mother in the world she’s trying to help her kids fulfill their dreams,” she says.

“I just hate it when people twist that and make her into some kind of crazy backstage mom. She’s a mom like anybody else and I want people to know that she’s the greatest mom in the world.”

The birthday bunch

Songwriter Hal David is 87. Country singer Tom T. Hall (“Spokane Motel Blues”) is 72. Actor Ian McKellen is 69. Actress Dixie Carter is 69. Actress-singer Leslie Uggams is 65. Puppeteer Frank Oz is 64. Actress Karen Valentine is 61. Actress Connie Sellecca is 53. Actor-comedian Mike Myers is 45. Actress Anne Heche is 39. Actor Jamie Kennedy is 38. Singer Lauryn Hill is 33. Actor Ethan Suplee (“My Name Is Earl”) is 32.