A Magic Kingdom of golf memories

ORLANDO, Fla. – The approach shot on the 18th hole at Disney’s Osprey Ridge Golf Course can be inviting or daunting – depending on the pin placement.

With a pitching wedge in hand from 94 yards on a recent Monday morning, it shouldn’t have been that hard, even though it was my third shot on the 432-yard par 4.

Still, with the pin stuck up front within six feet of a yawning sand trap, all type of bad thoughts were running through this 17-handicapper’s head. And, with a chance to meet my pre-round stated goal of 90 with a par, a screw-up just wouldn’t be acceptable.

Who was the idiot who put the pin so close to the darn trap anyway?

•••

It seemed inevitable when our kids were young. We had been to Disneyland – in California – so many times we knew someday we would have to pack up the boys and head to Florida – and Disney World. More parks, more room, more money. But it had to be done.

Except we never did. The boys grew, their sports demands did as well and, before we knew it, they were off to college.

Still the magical lure of the Magic Kingdom beckoned. So when a second honeymoon was being planned, Kim and I threw out Hawaii, Mexico or a cruise and instead picked a trip to Disney World.

A willing participant, I became downright enthusiastic when the Magic Your Way Premium Plan was explained to us. Along with the parks, the backstage tours, the dining, the Cirque de Soleil, was the opportunity to play unlimited golf – and have unlimited lessons – at the five Disney-owned courses: Magnolia, site of the final rounds of the PGA’s Children’s Miracle Network Tournament in the fall, Palm, Osprey Ridge, Lake Buena Vista and the nine-hole Oak Trail walking course.

I was sold.

Rounds that would cost upward of $170 in the time we would be visiting – prices drop considerably after mid-May, when the summer heat and humidity starts to settle in – would be included. Unlimited 45-minute lessons for Kim and I with PGA professionals, a $75 ticket, would also be in the package.

Theme parks, tours, incredible meals … and all the golf I can play?

Where do I sign?

•••

First the bad news. You still have to make tee times. And, especially for the Magnolia course, the early morning times fill up fast, even during our late April, early May vacation when Disney World wasn’t all that crowded and weather wasn’t a big concern.

And there is the time factor. Though I played my Osprey Ridge round in about 31/2 hours, one of the Palm rounds took almost five. That’s time away from the family. It’s one thing to take an entire morning to play when you’re in “the most magical place on earth” by yourself or with a spouse. But I noticed a couple of playing partners checking watches throughout the latter part of the round, knowing the Mickey and Minnie waiting back at the resort were going to throw a fit.

And, if you are like me, bring lots of balls. There are more lakes and creeks on any one course here than you’ll find in all of North Idaho. And, unlike Idaho’s waterways, Florida’s have permanent residents who are capable of giving you a real handicap, not just a golf-related one. Since I promised Kim to return each day with all four limbs, a ball hit into the water stayed there.

To quote the Osprey Ridge yardage book, describing the par-5 ninth hole: “The lake to the right of the green is home to a Florida Alligator who can be seen taking a peaceful swim on occasion.”

It didn’t, however, warn me of the heron perched on the sand trap next to the green. When my wayward approach shot rolled past him and down the hill, he walked over, picked it up and dumped it into the lake. No lie. And then went back to his perch.

It made me wonder if he had a contract with Nike.

•••

My Disney golf odyssey began and ended with the Palm course, a tight Joe Lee-designed course that stretches to 7,010 yards from the blue tees, but played at 6,461 from the whites I used.

The signature hole on the course is the sixth, a 403-yard par 4 that asks for a right-to-left tee shot over water, then, for a short hitter like myself, forces a lay-up in front of the causeway that flows left-to-right in front of the green.

Both days my drive left me with a GPS-informed carry of about 200 yards to reach an elevated green that runs parallel to the water. In other words, I played it as a short par 5.

But my favorite holes on the course were 13 and 14, neither of which would classify as long (a 348-yard par 4 and a 471-yard par 5, respectively). They both, however, demand a well-placed drive over water to a target area. Miss and you’re in jail.

The 13th’s cell has a dozen palm trees for bars down the right side. The 14th uses another shot – or two, if you’re in the wrong spot – over a watery moat for security. And the lake between them? That’s where I saw my only gator, a 6- to 8-footer sunning himself off the 13th fairway.

The first time I played the Palm – my first golf round since last summer – I struggled to a 98. A week later, after a lesson (more on that later) and some practice putting on Florida’s greens, I posted an 89.

•••

The Palm’s fraternal twin, the Magnolia (they share a clubhouse, a pro shop and the early rounds of the Children’s Miracle Network Tournament, but don’t look all that much alike) is another tight Lee-designed course with a lot more teeth.

Of course, it has to have choppers or the PGA pros who gather here for the final weekend of the PGA Tour’s season would eat it up. The “Classic” tees stretch to 7,516 yards, with my preferred whites still playing 6,642.

If there is a signature hole to this course it is the par-3 sixth. And taking the place of John Hancock is Mickey Mouse, whose iconic three-circle head was the inspiration for a green-protecting sand trap.

The deep bunker on the 175-yard hole caught my perfectly stroked – but a club-too-short – 5-iron in its right ear. After perusing the lie, I was tempted to use some unDisney-like language, but refrained and blasted out to within 8 feet. A magic moment in the making, right? No, more like a missed putt and another bogey.

Still this is a course that asks for every shot, including many that players of my handicap range just don’t have. Despite the challenging design and the linoleum-floor quick greens (another characteristic shared with the Palm), the day was a success, even with another 98.

Part of that can be traced to the three playing partners, a father and son from Iowa and a commodities broker from Toronto, all of whom were determined to have fun no matter how many wayward shots. Such was the case in each round. The only jerk I played with all week was at Osprey Ridge, where I played alone.

Maybe it’s something Disney puts in the water.

•••

Osprey Ridge was easily the most beautiful of the courses, and populated by the most audacious wildlife.

Besides the earlier mentioned heron, I ran into a turtle crossing the 11th hole – I’ve played behind some slow folks before, but nothing like this guy – who kept me waiting as he moved toward a creek nearby. Add in a multitude of lizards, birds and other assorted wildlife – no gators, though – and you have a veritable Animal Kingdom.

Osprey Ridge is located on a piece of land on the east side of DisneyWorld. I was told by the pro shop personnel the course had already been sold to a developer, who paid Disney a million dollars an acre for the opportunity to build high-end housing and a resort.

The Tom Fazio-designed course survived – its twin, Pete Dye’s Eagle Pines, did not – the construction already under way, the noise from which interfered with the bucolic nature of the round. And the course will be out of Disney’s possession after 2010.

The course plays 7,101 yards from the far-back Talon tees and its links style means you don’t return to the clubhouse until the round is over. Thankfully, despite the limited number of players on the course, a beverage cart was available about every four holes. And, with the heat and humidity rising, I needed it, despite playing the 6,680 Crest markers.

The GPS-equipped cart was also essential – and mandatory at all but the Oak Trail course. Some of Osprey Ridge’s green-to-tee trips rivaled our five-hour Seattle-to-Orlando plane ride. But the greenery between the holes was worth it, as moss hung from the trees and the underbrush crowded close to the cart path at some points.

Though the greens were slower, the fairways a little thinner in places and the noise unbearable at times, this was still my favorite course. Each hole was an entity to itself. Each demanded total concentration. Each had some sort of fauna. And each was memorable in its own way.

•••

In the days we had in Orlando, I was unable to get to the third of the Lee-designed courses, Lake Buena Vista, and the 9-hole walkers’ course, Oak Trail. Heading to Epcot or the Magic Kingdom did interfere at times.

But Kim and I did jump at the chance to take lessons. We took them together at the Palm’s driving range and each ranged to nearly an hour and a half, because there were two of us.

Our instructor the first day, Matt, spent most of his time working with Kim, a beginner. In the few minutes he had with me, my ball striking consistency improved as did a sore area of my game: chipping.

He helped so well, in fact, my second round at the Palm, I envisioned a shot from behind the 11th green, striking a 5-iron into the side of the hill where I was aiming. It popped up and over the hill, down the slope of the green and into the hole. Of course, the 55-foot chip was good for a seven, but …

Anyhow, after two lessons, Kim and I were both striking the ball better. All as part of the package.

But there’s more. By staying at a Disney resort, there was free cab transportation to and from each of the courses. And I didn’t have to lug my clubs around except the first and last day. In between, the Disney people made sure they were at the course I was going to play.

•••

Before my early morning round at Osprey Ridge, the starter asked if I had played there before. I answered no. He then asked if I had a Magic Moment? What? He laughed and told me each day they pick a player to place the pin on 18. Would I like to do it?

Sure.

We climbed into a golf cart designed to look like Mickey Mouse and drove out to the 18th green. The pin the day before had been in the back left corner, so I walked to the front right. There was a little spot that brought the sand into play. I stuck in a spike.

A little more than 3 hours later, I was cussing myself out. Especially after I chickened out, pulled the three-quarters wedge into the middle of the green and two putted for a bogey. A 91.

Nothing magical about that. The vacation, that’s another story.