Man not amused by wife’s hobby

Dear Diane: My husband, “Edmund,” and I have been married for 36 years. I have been a good wife to him and (I think) a wonderful mother to our three now-grown children.

Recently I began attending a bowling league with three other women in my office. We play every Friday night, and on Tuesdays and Wednesdays we go to the bowling alley to practice.

I have never had an outside interest or hobby. I’ve always gone to work and then come home to care for my family. This new experience is like a breath of fresh air. I can’t wait for those three evenings each week when I can be with my girlfriends having fun.

As you can imagine, Edmund is not too thrilled about this. He is angry because he says that when he comes home, he expects me to be there and his dinner waiting on the table. I say Edmund can “expect” his dinner all he wants, but on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays I’m going to be at the bowling alley, and that a grown man can cook for himself.

To say that my relationship with Edmund has become strained is an understatement. He’s even threatened to move out if I don’t quit my bowling league and stay home and cook for him.

Diane, I don’t want to quit. I’m having a great time making new friends. I love Edmund, but I think he’s being insensitive. What do I do?

— Rolling a Split in Silver Spring

Dear Split: Edmund is a creature of habit. For 36 years you’ve been there for him. He’s become accustomed to being fed at a certain time, and he’s used to having you at home with him. Now his routine is messed up, and I suspect, he’s a little jealous.

Let him know how important bowling is to you and your happiness. Suggest that he take advantage of your time away from home and get together for a night out with HIS buddies.

And if you can possibly have dinner warming on the stove or in the oven when he gets home, that might help, too.