MIL a danger to her grandkids
Dear Annie: I’ve been married 10 years and have two beautiful children and one meddling mother-in-law. “Jan” sometimes displays bizarre behavior that makes me worry about my children’s safety.
When our son was 5 weeks old, Jan begged us to let her have the baby overnight. Before leaving her house, I told her I would change the baby’s diaper, and Jan handed me some kitchen wipes that had bleach in them. They would have left chemical burns on our son. Jan insisted she bought those by mistake, and I believed her.
Several months ago, Jan let my 5-year-old son watch a very graphic crime show. For weeks, he thought everyone was going to be shot in the head. We had to put him in counseling. Two months ago, without our permission, she let him ride an ATV without a helmet.
The final straw was last week. Jan styles hair professionally. When she’s asked to trim my children’s hair, I have always told her “no.” Over the weekend, my children stayed at Jan’s home, and my daughter came home with uneven bangs and the back chopped off. It was hideous. Jan played dumb, saying she didn’t realize I would object.
It is obvious Jan cannot make intelligent decisions about my children. Is it unreasonable to ask that she see my kids only at my home, in my presence? – Completely Irritated in Indiana
Dear Indiana: Of course not. It would be irresponsible of you to keep allowing Jan to baby-sit when she obviously does not respect your authority as a parent. The hair will grow back, but the ATV ride and the bleach-based wipes indicate Jan cannot be trusted with your children’s welfare. If you think there is something medically wrong, suggest she be evaluated by a professional. Either way, make sure your husband backs you up.
Dear Annie: My son plays on a traveling baseball team and four of the dads are also coaches. Their four sons always play every inning regardless of their attendance at practice or how many times they strike out or make fielding errors.
My son is very aware of the favoritism, and I’m constantly apologizing for their behavior. There isn’t another league for our son, so we try and keep a positive approach to the situation. Is there anything else I can do? – On the Bench Again
Dear On the Bench: Have you spoken to these coaches, nicely, and told them their favoritism is creating resentment? Would other parents go with you to talk to them? Are there additional coaches who are more impartial and would act as intermediaries?
Teach your son that although life isn’t always fair, playing his best and being a good sport and supportive teammate are what count.