Strike A Pose

“Ladies with an attitude/Fellows that were in the mood/Don’t just stand there, let’s get to it/Strike a pose, there’s nothing to it” – Madonna The first tee is the point of no return. It’s where preparation and experience inevitably meet demonstration. Whether you’re teeing it up for the first time ever, or you’re a retired desert-dweller playing your 10,000th round, you’ll need effortless execution of these pre-round practices. Here, for example, is your first chance to strike fear into the hearts of your opponents with the proper golf pose. Leave nothing to chance. It’s time to use all of the weaponry at your disposal and deal a crushing blow from the start. So iron your shirt and shine your shoes, ‘cause you mean business today. You’re playing to win – and you’re not afraid to look good doing it. Tripod This is the essential pose. Place your left hand on your left hip, or if you’re feeling sassy, with your thumb tucked into your from left pants pocket instead. Position the club in your right hand, butt end in your palm, clubhead on the ground. Lean to the right and support your weight with the club. Cross your right foot in front of your left, toe pointing downward. Finally, turn your head to the left. (This provides the best silhouette, should passers-by happen to notice you from afar). Now you have three points of contact with terra firma, like a plug in a socket: drawing power, gaining strength, yet grounded. No one will beat you today. Tripod Modification: Once you’re on the green and tending the pin, the same position can be assumed using the flagstick. However, grip it with your hand at shoulder height, approximately one-third from the top, as if you’re hunting bullfrogs with a spear. A word of caution: Don’t lean too heavily on a driver on 3-wood in wet grass. The club might slip out from beneath you, which would completely ruin the image you’re striving to achieve. Don’t lean too heavily on your club or the flagstick on a green either. The pressure can cause damage to the grass. Young Guns This more advanced pose is an important part of high-level gaming and psychological warfare – another lethal weapon to add to your arsenal, like the bayonet at the end of your Tripod-musket. Start with your feet slightly wider than your shoulders. Next, position the clubhead on the ground in the middle of your stance with both hands resting on the butt end, arms extended but not locked. Finally, and this is important, lift your chest and chin, spine straight, and squint your eyes as if scouring the horizon for your next victim. Purse your lips to create extra effect. You’ll look cold, hardened, out for blood. Young Guns Modification: One-Armed Young Guns. To achieve this look while doing Young Guns, remove either arm from the club, look down at your shoes, and rub the sweat off the back of your neck while vigorously flexing your bicep (and listening for your opponents to crumble under the pressure). A word of caution: If you don’t have a respectable bicep to flex, One-Armed Young Guns can have the reverse effect.