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Annie’s Mailbox: Friends may not like each other

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: For almost a year, we have been planning a winter vacation with a few good friends. We only wanted to be with three other couples. We suggested the vacation to “Carrie and Brad,” who thought it was a great idea.

Last weekend, we began narrowing down the list of couples we would like to invite. We chose the third couple and told Carrie and Brad to pick the last one. They e-mailed that they were “less than thrilled” with our choice, but promised to be “team players.”

Today I got a text from Brad saying they are no longer comfortable with the couple we chose and would prefer not to go with them. They said they hoped we understood, and that there would be no hard feelings.

I am really hurt, as the other couple includes one of my best girlfriends. How am I supposed to “uninvite” her? I told Brad I would not do that, and that we would simply not be vacationing together this year.

I do have hard feelings. I want to call Brad and tell him how I really feel, but my husband says no. I know I’ll have a difficult time when I next see him. My husband and I plan to go on vacation with my girlfriend and her husband, and I am sure we will have a lovely time. How do I handle Brad and Carrie? – Frustrated and Needing Advice

Dear Frustrated: You have no cause to be upset with Brad and Carrie. They told you they did not want to vacation with this other couple, giving you the option of choosing one or the other. They were kind enough to tell you before you lost any money on the deal. Brad and Carrie are not holding a grudge that you invited a couple they disliked, and neither should you. Your friends do not have to like each other. In fact, many people have separate circles of friends. We think you should remember not to mix your best girlfriend with Brad and Carrie and forget the rest.

Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
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