Call for ‘hanky-panky’

Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it.

Not just fall in love, that is, but make whoopee.

Married couples at Mercy Church in Olathe, Kan., were challenged to do it every day during February. And the challenge came from Pastor Timmy Gibson, who calls it “hanky-panky.”

It’s a challenge not often heard from a pulpit, but it may be becoming a trend.

Two pastors recently received national attention in issuing variations of the hanky-panky challenge. The goal, they said, was to improve marriages through better intimacy.

Last fall the Rev. Ed Young of the Dallas-based Fellowship Church challenged married couples to have seven straight days of sex.

Earlier last year the Rev. Paul Wirth of Relevant Church near Tampa, Fla., upped that by imploring spouses to have sex for 30 days in a row.

Two books published last June recount the sex marathons of two couples: “Just Do It (101 straight days),” by Douglas Brown, and “365 Nights,” by Charla Muller.

Gibson threw out the challenge in a sermon Feb. 1, the first of a monthlong series on love, marriage and – hush – the three-letter word that starts with “S.”

He and his wife, Jana (who is not a minister), have been presenting a February sermon series on marriage for five years at the 6-year-old church.

Gibson decided to make the sex challenge after hearing an interview with author Brown. On the kickoff Sunday, he told his congregation of mostly 30-somethings that sex “is a topic that should be talked about from a biblical perspective.”

Gibson, 39, and Jana, 35, who have been married 15 years and have two young children, spoke on how wives can love their husbands. The next week was on how husbands can love their wives.

“Sex is a God-given gift that we get to share with our spouse,” Gibson said.

In offering his challenge, he suggested that “every day, be intentional about your intimacy as a way to build your marriage, your relationship.”

Gibson said that the point is not just for couples to engage in sex – “not that anything is wrong with that,” he added with a laugh – “but we want them to create more intimacy.

“Sex is not the only part of a good marriage,” he said. “It’s the back rubs, the poems, the letters to each other, going on dates, talking.

“You can have sex without intimacy. But to have true love and true-love sex where it is really beautiful, you have to have intimacy.”

Even though sex is throughout the Bible, Gibson said, such as in the Song of Solomon, “which is loaded with passion,” few pastors preach about it.

“People often feel uncomfortable, so pastors feel uncomfortable talking about it,” he said.

But not at Mercy Church, where several couples were receptive to Gibson’s request.

Steve Faulkner, of Olathe, Kan., started the week with a note for his wife, Dawn, by the coffeemaker, wishing her a good morning and saying how much he appreciates everything she does for him and their two children.

One day when Dawn was out, he came home at lunch and cleaned the house.

She appreciates such “acts of service,” he said. “This results in her being happy.”

And, he said, “the hanky-panky has gone well.”

Gary and Jacque Estes of Olathe sent text messages to each other, gave each other cards, and took time “to sit down and have conversations about us, rather than just day-to-day life,” said Gary, who also left a letter for Jacque to find, expressing his love for her.

“The focus on sexual intimacy for the two of us, making it a point, creates anticipation and renewed energy,” he said. “By focusing on your spouse through the challenge, it forces you to come up with new and creative ways to show your love and appreciation to your spouse.”

Jana said she has gotten nothing but positive feedback about the challenge.

Laughing, she said that after the first week, one close friend began a note on Jana’s Facebook page with, “I just finished up my homework from the church.”