Annie’s Mailbox: No gift for second bridal shower

Dear Annie: My niece was married in a big wedding several years ago. They divorced after two years, and she was soon living with someone else. She’s been with the current guy for three years, and he finally popped the question. Big deal.

I thought surely there would be no showers for this second go-round, but a few days ago I received an invitation. I think this is in very poor taste. Am I wrong to resent being invited to another shower? – Very Irritated

Dear Irritated: It is not uncommon to have bridal showers for second-time brides, but those who were invited to a previous shower are not obligated to bring a second gift. The purpose is not to help furnish the home, which is presumably stocked sufficiently. Instead, such shower gifts often include theater tickets, bottles of wine, etc.

Dear Annie: You missed the boat with “Sexless Lady,” whose husband only has makeup sex. You didn’t address the possibility that he’s just given up.

My wife could have written that letter. When we first met, she dressed sexy, and we made love everywhere – in a closet, in the car, at the lake. After we married and had kids, she changed. Fifteen years later, we have sex at 10 p.m. on Saturday night, under the covers with the lights off. She sleeps in a cotton nightgown that goes from neck to ankle. I haven’t seen her cleavage in 13 years. My wife is attractive at 45, but to her, sex is a chore. I went to a marriage counselor, read books, bought marital aids, tried to romance her, but it didn’t help.

It’s been three years since I initiated sex. I am staying for the kids and have let her believe my sex drive disappeared. Ladies, sex starts with the mind. If you aren’t into it, he will find someone who is. – Just Waiting

Dear Just: We’d be happy to start a National Married No Excuse Sex Day, but once a year doesn’t seem sufficient. And it won’t encourage your wife to dress in a more provocative manner. Have you told her?