Fix it up, find a way

I am a true believer in tinkering, always have been. It’s likely because my father, ignoring the fact that I was a girl, started handing me tools long before my arms had the strength to build much of anything. He taught me how to take life into my hands, to figure and fix, and to find a way. This hands-on approach gave me the confidence to take on any task because, no matter how overwhelming, I understood that it was made up of small parts that I could tackle one by one. That’s the spirit of tinkering, pure and simple. Having a whole lot of technical know-how doesn’t matter nearly as much as having the guts to take a crack at life’s glitches, whether it’s a broken bicycle wheel or tattered family ties. There’s something utterly empowering about being able to fix things and build them anew. It’s a secret that men have known for ages, but from which women have too often been rebuffed. Time and again, we’ve heard that the garage is his domain. As a result, handiwork has taken on a sort of mystique for a lot of us females. We’ve practically been programmed to view even the simplest household repairs as daunting or downright dirty. And you know what? They can be! But manual labor is also one of the best ways to bolster your “can-do” spirit. The very same gumption that gets a faucet fixed will help a woman find her way through the splinters, leaks and break-downs of everyday life. My fix-it-up philosophy runs so deep that, in 1974, I cut my college career short and enrolled in a carpentry trade school. Brainpower wasn’t enough to satiate my hunger for productivity. I needed to work with my hands, to see the concrete results of my efforts. For years thereafter, I tackled roofing and remodeling jobs, built bridges and cleared trails through some of America’s most remote wilderness. Each experience helped fortify my belief in my own competence. Whatever the challenge, I was not only ready, but also able. That confidence is what kept me from crumbling when my first farmhouse was destroyed in a late-night fire several years ago. It was devastating, and it felt as if the entire world had been pulled out from under my feet. But my family was safe, and I knew better than to let hardship get the better of me. The next morning, I called a carpenter friend, and we got to work rebuilding my homestead and my life. Don’t worry if you’ve never wielded a screwdriver, much less a power tool. It all starts with tuning in to your innate urge to tinker. On my Web site forum, Jenny from Utah admits that she can’t resist trying to fix things by herself. “When I was single, living with my two teenage sons, I lived in a little rental house with bad plumbing. The bathroom faucet ran constantly, and I was paying for city water on a waitress’ salary! I went to the bookstore and bought a book called “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” (by Jennifer Axen and Leigh Phillips). It explains how to fix things from a woman’s viewpoint, and it helped me a lot. I felt like when I went to the hardware store I knew what I was talking about. And I felt so good when I took that puppy apart, fixed it, and put it back together. I guess I could have called the landlord, but it was more fun to do it myself!” This realization is picking up steam. Women aren’t satisfied to sit back and wait for someone else to get a job done. Why should we? Handiness is a matter for Mother Wit, and we’ve got her on our side. Dive in and take something apart to figure out how it works. Or be brave and build something from scratch. Failure, for all its frustration, is one heck of a teacher. And success? Talk about sweet! “I’m on top of the world!” writes Sara from Maryland, in my Web site chat room. “With no prior know-how, I split a bunch of downed trees for firewood today. Another mom and I did it together, and she felt the same way. We have a whole pile of firewood now and are eager to do more. It was so empowering — I feel like I could try anything!” Want to try your hand at tinkering? A few books to help women get handy include “Dare to Repair: A Do-it-Herself Guide to Fixing (Almost) Anything in the Home” by Julie Sussman and Stephanie Glakas-Tenet, “The House That Jill Built: A Woman’s Guide to Home Building” by Judy Ostrow, and “Woodworking 101 for Women” by Marilyn MacEwen. There is also a handy online resource at www.BeJane.com, which details great DIY projects for women.