Parents blog: Boys and agression

The other day, while playing in the yard, my 5-year-old son took a tent stake and started punching holes into a cardboard box. He wasn’t hurting his little sister or property, So I just allowed him to continue pounding away. Still, the action seemed very aggressive to me and I wondered if I did the right thing.

When he pretend plays, swords and other weapons are always involved. There’s war and violence.

I found an article on boys’ aggression that included this quote from Dr. Joseph Tobin, professor of early childhood education at Arizona State University:

“Calling boys ‘aggressive’ is an attempt to punitively try and control behavior we are not comfortable with. Children use their bodies and express their feelings by pushing, grabbing, and fighting … the problem isn’t that boys have these impulses and interests; the problem is that we overreact.”

I’m probably overreacting. But I want my son to be a peace-loving, kind and respectful human being so his actions are sometimes really offensive to me.

What are your thoughts on boys and aggression? I’m especially curious about your perspective on pretend play and where you draw the line when it comes to games that involve war, death and violence.

– Posted by Virginia de Leon

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