‘Paging Al Davis, paging Al Davis’

Terrell Owens’ agent says several teams are interested in signing his client. Yet there can’t be too many options considering all the factors that have to line up: a team that needs a No. 1 receiver, has enough cash and catches to make Owens happy, and is led by a coach and quarterback who can handle him if he’s not.

Of course, there’s always the Raiders.

While Oakland is an easy target because of Al Davis’ history of signing locker-room outcasts on the downside of their career, a rundown of the other 31 teams shows there are only a few other likely candidates.

Start with the teams that can be nixed for simple reasons: Cowboys (obviously), Eagles (not again), Steelers (as Super Bowl champs, why bother?).

Others don’t need a star receiver: Cardinals (Fitzgerald & Boldin), Patriots (Randy Moss), Seahawks (just added T.J. Houshmandzadeh).

Scrap these because team headquarters may not be big enough for all the egos and baggage: Dolphins (Bill Parcells), Vikings (spat with coach when he was Owens’ coordinator), Chiefs (spat with coach when he was Owens’ coordinator; GM is Parcells’ son-in-law).

This group has learned its lesson the hard way: Giants (Plaxico Burress); Bengals (Ocho Cinco; just signed Laveranues Coles), Ravens (Owens found legal loophole to get out of being traded there in ’04).

The timing is bad for these: Panthers (not enough salary-cap room even if they did want to pair him with Steve Smith), Buccaneers (dumping veterans, not adding them), Jaguars (ditto). The Packers, Bills and Bears are bad fits.

The Redskins seem logical, but it’s said owner Dan Snyder has learned to just say no to aging prima donnas.

The Falcons? There’s the whole Michael Vick factor. Owens’ demeanor is enough for them to stay away.

The Saints don’t need any help on offense. The Colts have an opening after releasing Marvin Harrison, but they dumped him for salary-cap reasons.

After dealing with Adam “Pacman” Jones and Vince Young, dealing with Owens might be the last thing the Titans need.

The Jets could use a game-breaker to replace Coles, but with a new coach, and coming off a year with Brett Favre, they’d rather be circus-free. Rule out the Browns because of the new coach factor, too. Same with the Lions and Rams.

Twenty-seven down, five to go.

The Chargers could make a good offense even better with Owens, but their first priority is figuring out what to do about LaDainian Tomlinson.

The Texans seem to have a good thing already going with Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson and Steve Slaton.

The 49ers have a tough-guy coach in Mike Singletary who probably thinks he can tame Owens. There’s also, of course, history there – pro and con.

All that’s left are the Raiders … and, the Broncos.

Denver’s new coach, Josh McDaniels, had success working with Moss in New England. But just because the Broncos are a plausible fit doesn’t mean it will happen, only that it could.

So could this: nothing.

Remote as it seems, all 32 teams could decide Owens is more trouble than he’s worth.