Ease off name-calling

Dear Harriette: I watch a lot of movies, and I tend to compare people to characters in the films I like. I find it fun and harmless. Recently, my friends seem to be getting a little tired of my antics. I got carried away the other day and retaliated by calling a friend a really nasty character in a movie I knew she had seen. Now she’s not speaking to me. I know it might get a little extreme with my movie references, but I’m trying to figure out a way to keep life interesting. My friends don’t talk about much. I don’t want to give them up, and I don’t want to be bored. Got a solution? — Arthur, Memphis, Tenn.

Dear Arthur: Why not join a movie club? Chances are there’s a group in your town where people come together to go to films and talk about them after. That could include contemporary movies in the theaters now, along with older films. If you can’t find a group, why not start one? You can even rent movies from Netflix or Blockbuster and invite people over. Cultivate your movie interests. And when you’re with your other friends, just enjoy them for who they are, not for the characters you imagine them to be.

Dear Harriette: My friend joined a popular weight-loss program. She definitely needs to lose weight, so I guess it’s a good idea. Truth is, I’m wondering whether I should do the same thing. Part of me wants to tell her. They say having a buddy is a good idea to try to make it happen, right? I thought she could be a buddy since she’s doing it already. But I am worried. What if I don’t make it? If I don’t lose weight and she does, it will be even worse than it is now. At least now I’m just overweight, but no one can accuse me of failing if I did try. Do you think it’s a good idea to talk to my friend about joining her, or should I just forget about it? — Dell, Atlanta, Ga.

Dear Dell: I want you to go back and read your letter. You are reaching out for help. Clearly, you need help. Don’t give up on yourself. If your friend loses more weight than you do, so what? As the saying goes, “Nothing beats a failure but a try.” Try actively to help yourself.

It’s a great idea to partner with someone who shares your interests and goals. Go for it. Call your girlfriend, and suggest that you buddy up with her. If she’s interested, great. If not, contact a weight-loss program that interests you anyway. Take that vital first step forward to support your health, your life. Then stay committed. Track your progress. If you don’t move along as swiftly as you would like, don’t give up. Exercise and a proper diet are essential to a healthy body. Claim the best for yourself. And get the help you need to win.

Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is the creative director of Ebony magazine. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o United Feature Syndicate, 200 Madison Ave., New York, NY 10016.